Sunday, September 23, 2018

Being There

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a memorial service for a lady who worked at my local bank. Although I have not attended a funeral/memorial in decades, my conscience told me to make this a priority. I went, but with trepidation. I didn’t know what to expect.

The service was lovely and respectful. Many people came. I was concerned though that many of this lady’s colleagues didn’t show. It was on a Sunday afternoon. In the weeks leading to the service a number of them asked me if they’d see me there. I said yes and believed they’d show their support. They didn’t. This bothered me A LOT. How could they just not be there?

As I absorbed the moment. I pictured myself as the deceased. I know that sounds maudlin but at 61, you think of stuff like that. Over and over I thought, “In the past, people haven’t been there for me. I’ve supported them when they needed me; why not the reverse? Even in death, would they drop everything to remember me?” Each time I asked myself this, the response was the same. NO!

The service lasted an hour. I left in a hurry. I couldn’t breathe in the intensity of everything. The realization of the lack of people not in attendance bothered me (for this lady), and myself. I got to my car and sobbed at the behavior of people.

When I was younger and a person died, people showed up. It didn’t matter whether it was a family member, close friend or neighbor. People showed up. They showed respect and offered condolences. This behavior reflected integrity.


What has happened to society and our values?

Focus: Kindness, empathy, spirit, friendship, legacy
Question for you: 1) Are you showing up for people or are you making excuses?

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