Was that O.K.?
Those three words reflected the guests of The Oprah Show early on in its heyday. They were asking Oprah if what they said was quality. Inevitably, it was a YES, but those three words stuck in Oprah’s head. It was what was under the surface, that led her to understand, that her skills as a talk show host would show us all, the importance of validation.
As her show evolved, she recognized that ALL of her guests were secretly saying, Did you see me? Did you hear me? Did what I just say, matter? The theme was universal. For Oprah, it became apparent that ALL people need to be validated and acknowledged for who they are. Every show she did exemplified VALIDATION. One of the many reasons she landed exclusives was because her guests knew that whatever their situation, she would bring validation to them and to others.
It’s amazing how when things (i.e. home, job, etc.) are taken away, or you face mortality, things become crystal clear. You long for quality and validation with others.
I’ve been in counseling for over a year now and I’m redefining myself. I’m taking steps to “speak my mind” with, and without, filters. The first time you speak your mind, it wakes people up! It doesn’t matter if it’s family or friends. Speaking up and telling people your viewpoints, leads to Did you see me? Did you hear me? Did what I just tell you, matter? In turn, it leads to a catharsis that is unprecedented for self-discovery and emotional healing. Why? Because, many times we want to be liked. We don’t want to rock the boat, or piss people off. Inevitably (when we don’t speak up), we squash our authenticity. This leads to a squashed spirit. Nothing is sadder than keeping your mouth shut; especially if it leads to a change or validation. I URGE you to find your voice and speak up. You might piss people off and inevitably lose them in your personal/professional life but you’ll gain something more important – an opportunity to own your voice and show people who you really are!
Just 1 Page . . .
Focus: Validation, Self-esteem, Self-confidence
Questions for you: 1) What issues require you to speak up? 2) Are you addressing them or not? Why? 3) What’s the worst thing that can happen if you show others who you are?