Thursday, July 20, 2017

Com Power: Tapping Into Creativity

Tapping into creativity . . .


All people have an imagination which leads to creativity. Sometimes, you don’t know how creative you can be unless you tap into it. Here’s a great way to a creative start.

With your dominant hand, write “Write do I start being creative?”

Now, answer the question with your non-dominant  hand.


See where the information takes you!

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Friday, July 14, 2017

Your Communication Style

Don’t put off til tomorrow what you can do today! If your communication style is not working for you, get on it! Don’t wait for the damage to be done. By then, it’s too late. It’s important to know how to “talk it through” so that personal and professional conflicts are handled.


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Saturday, July 8, 2017

Gestures

Do you use gestures to your advantage? Once you observe body language, you’ll see that less is more. The fewer gestures you use, the more you’ll convey power, intelligence and credibility. Make a point of observing people in high positions – CEO’s or politicians.


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Saturday, July 1, 2017

Four Facts About F.E.A.R.

FEAR = F(alse) E(vents) A(ppearing) R(eal)
That’s what FEAR boils down to. It will be a part of your life till the day you die. Here are four facts to help you manage it!

Fact 1: As long as you continue to grow, fear will be with you. Change is inevitable. If you have nothing to be afraid of, you’ll be stagnant. Nothing in life stays the same.

Fact 2: The only way to ease the fear of anything is to go out and do it. The “it” can be anything from buying a new home or starting a family.

Fact 3: You aren’t the only one to experience fear. As long as you’re challenging your comfort zone, you will have fear.

Fact 4: Moving through (or addressing) fear is less frightening than just remaining stuck and NOT doing anything about it. Remember, you HAVE choices!

Feel your fear(s) and do the things you need to . . . anyway!


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Monday, June 26, 2017

Trust And You!

Do people trust you? If they don’t; look where it leads – increases in cost of sales, a reduction in repeat business and high employee turn over. Maintaining a trusting relationship is a matter of good business and is an important part of creating value; because when someone doesn’t trust you, they won’t do business with you. And when that happens, your business fails – BIG time!


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Sunday, June 18, 2017

Guardian Angels

Unless you’re agnostic and don’t believe in God, we all have something in common; namely guardian angels. One thing I’ve learned in church is that we need to tell our angels to work for your benefit. They need to be told (daily) that they need to do their job of guarding, guiding and bringing us our righteous blessings. Every day, I summon my angels to guard, guide and protect me.

By nature,  I’m a responsible person. I go to the doctor for my yearly check up and get my teeth cleaned 2x a year. I’m also good about monitoring the upkeep of my car. However, do to a lack of finances,  I’ve been amiss with maintaining it.

Last week, after church, my brake light came on.  I noticed the brake going down unusually LOW. It struck me as odd because “pre-church,” the brakes were fine. I did a slow round in the Wal-mart parking lot and noticed that the car didn’t stop immediately. It slowed down gradually. I thought Oh fuck, I’ll have to drive really slow on my way home. As I made my way into traffic, I realized how precarious my situation was. I couldn’t get close to other cars because I was unsure of my distance (proximity) to them. Attending to traffic lights was also a challenge. I couldn’t take a risk of a left turn into traffic, for fear of hitting an oncoming car. Driving down any street that had families with young children or pets, put me over the edge. I never thought of how much we take our safety for granted, when we get into the car, and drive.

I got to my apartment and thought about where I’d take it for service. There is a credible auto shop within walking distance. That would be a great choice but I hesitated on doing it in the early morning. There were too many cars and people to navigate. I decided to drive 15 mph to the auto shop (a mere 4 blocks away). I parked my car in the lot and was relieved. The car was in a safe place for the time being.  I’d be able to get it serviced in the morning.

I got to the shop 15 minutes early and checked it in. I contacted the service department 3 hours later. They were swamped and told me they’d get to it by 1:00. I called at 2:30 to ascertain the situation. The service rep told me that I needed a brake overload to the tune of $1400.00. My heart sped up with the price. It actually reacted too early. It should have sped up when the tech said, I’m surprised at how long you drove the car that way. You had no back brakes and about 10% of your front brakes. Everything in the brake system was cracked. When we took off the left rear tire, the actual brake pads etc. just fell off the axle and fell on the floor. You could’ve died or killed someone!

Auditorilly,  I suck!  If you give me info over the phone, I can’t process the complexity of as situation.  I’m a visual learner.  Always have been. You show me a picture of anything and I “get it!”

While I heard, You  could’ve died, I didn’t understand the severity of everything. I kept thinking, You could’ve died. The word “died” should have BLASTED in my brain. It didn’t!
The next day, I went to the auto shop and introduced myself to one of the technicians. He took me to the car and pointed out the damage. Once again, he mentioned “dying.” Then, it hit me! I grew quiet. I didn’t say anything. Then, I looked at him and said, Thank you for saving my life! I inquired as to why I didn’t have any previous warning about the brakes. He said that each car is different in alerting the driver about any hazard.

As I made my way home, I thought about my guardian angels. They had protected me all this time. It was when the brake light came on, that I had to do my part and make sure that I was safe. This situation had so many levels to it: 1) I didn’t crash the car. If I had crashed the car,  I’d be without transportation. That would have posed a serious problem. 2) I didn’t hurt myself or anyone else. If  I’d hurt someone permanently, I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself. 3) The brake light was my wake up call. It told me to address the situation IMMEDIATELY. If I ignored it, the situation would have had severe consequences. 4) I hadn’t died, which told me that God wasn’t done with me yet. He still had a good plan for me. Lastly, 5) This situation was so precarious. It showed me the importance of DIVINE protection and how we’re protected. We just don’t realize how our angels are doing it.
My counselor has told me not to obsess over things like this. If I stay in the Oh My God, that was awful! I’ll lose sight of living every day without fear. For the last 2 years, I’ve lived with Oh My God, that was awful! It affected me physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. Not a good place to be. It’s wasted energy.

I’ve taken steps to not “chew” or revisit the negative. I  have to be conscious and conscientious about the positive. I hope I don’t forget this situation with the car. I want to be able to remember that despite the seriousness of it all, I walked away unscathed. I just have to remember to call upon my angels on a daily basis and to thank them every night for doing 
their part.

Focus: Gratitude, Spirit, Angels, DIVINE  protection, Well-Being


Questions for you: 1) Do you have any situations where an angel stepped forward to change your life (positively)? 2) Have you revisited it to remember the importance of DIVINE protection? 3) Do you talk to and thank your guardian angels on a daily basis? 

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Your BODY LANGUAGE Speaks Loudly!

Studies show that people who show “less” are more relaxed, self-assured and credible. Remember this: it takes time to understand and interpret body language. Getting it right the first time won’t happen. It’s because it’s a tricky process and has many layers. It begins with you identifying patterns. And as you get better and you become more aware, you’ll understand what they’re saying.

Reading body language can help you tailor a message. Mirroring helps with communication. Let’s say you’re discussing something and the person you’re talking with leans against a wall. You can do the same thing. What does it “say?” – you’re solid with them! Let’s say you’re talking to someone and they sit down. Sit down next to them. It conveys harmony and a sense of being on their level.


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Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Your Listening Style

Listening style reflects the attitude and behavior of the listener. It is how someone listens. Your listening style can be a bridge or a barrier to good communication. Listeners can avoid barriers of listening by being aware of what the pitfalls are, and knowing how to avoid them.

The most difficult person to communicate with is the daydreamer. You can tell a daydreamer by the faraway look in his eyes. This type of person is present, but not really there.  They are easily distracted and will change the subject without warning.

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Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Active Listening

Active  listening is the bridge to good communication. It is committed listening based on good habits and self control. Good listening is purposeful and productive because it allows the listener and the speaker to reach an understanding.


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Wednesday, May 24, 2017

The Importance Of Validation

I met Diane at a seminar on downsizing. A number of us “seniors” were there to get a handle on downsizing our homes and all its clutter. After the presentation, the marketing director asked us if we wanted to see some of the properties in this senior residence. Diane and I were the only 2 who jumped in for a “look see!”

As we entered the elevator, Diane spoke about herself and her journey. She was 74. She had two grown children. Her husband had been gravely ill for most of their marriage. When her daughter married out of state, her dad couldn’t attend because of his health. In addition, Diane had lost two businesses as a result of the economy. In addition, she took a fall which warranted a rod in her spine to keep her upright. It took her over a year to heal.
I was humbled by her story. I turned 60 a couple of months before. It wasn’t an exciting birthday. I was trying to rebuild my life after an eviction, job (and friend) loss, and overcoming cataract surgery. I thought I had it bad UNTIL I heard her story.

Can I give you a compliment? I asked.

Sure! she said.

Thank you for being an inspiration to me and to others. Your story told me a lot about overcoming life’s speed bumps. You’ve done it in a very quiet and respectful way!

She burst into tears.

How can you say that? How am I an inspiration?

I told her that many times we silently go through things that have us feeling lost and overwhelmed. Without a “testimony” we think we’re the only one UNTIL we hear about the struggle/success of someone who’s had it worse. In addition, I told her that her story was a PRIME example of moving forward with a greater appreciation of what GOD has in store for ALL of us.  As I spoke, I cried too. That in turn made her, and the leasing agent also cry. I hadn’t really intended on throwing this lady a curve. It just happened.

Validation is important. It needs to be done consistently and purposely. You never know what someone is going through, until you hear their story. In my case, I needed to hear Diane’s story. Her story gave me momentum. I needed to move forward with my life. In hearing her story, I validated her by saying Thank you. You changed my life!
Validation = Changing someone’s life!

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Focus: Validation, spirit, life purpose, inspiration

Question for You: 1) How can your life story inspire others? 2) Who can you share it with?

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

5 Ways To Stop Bad Listening Habits

Here are 5 ways to stop bad listening habits:

  1. Catch yourself in the act. By monitoring your listening behavior, you can catch yourself when you fall into an undesirable behavior.
  2. Fight the habit. Don't wait until tomorrow to change. Admit your behavior when you catch yourself.
  3. Substitute an old habit with a new one. Learn what isn't working for you. Learn the value of your new behavior and trust in yourself.
  4. Brag about your success. When you have done something well, celebrate it. Give yourself a pat on the back.
  5. Be patient. Give yourself a break. You will make mistakes. You will improve gradually.
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Tuesday, May 9, 2017

A Good Idea (About Blogs)


A Good Idea
A professional blog is a great way to show your expertise. What do you “know” better than anyone else? Put that knowledge to “work” for you. The blog doesn’t need to be extensive (just informative). It can be a weekly entry that informs people. Take it a step further by listing it through a search engine like Google or Yahoo (FREE ADVERTISING) > take advantage of an ADSENSE program by featuring ads on your blog. Every time someone visits your blog and clicks on a sponsored ad, you earn $$$$.
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IT’S JUST A GOOD IDEA!

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

5 Tips To Get Over Fear of Speaking in Public

Did you know that people would rather die, than to get up in front of people, and speak? That’s right. What many don’t know is that getting up in front of a group of people is not that hard. It just takes practice and patience.
Public peaking is more than just a large hall, a stage and a podium. Formal and informal events comprise public speaking. Remember this: Public speaking is your ability to inform or persuade an audience, even if it’s an audience of one!
Here are 5 tips to help you be successful:
1.    Have a purpose, make sure your audience knows why you are there and what you are going to talk about. Repeat your “purpose” as needed.
2.    Organize your topics. Your ideas have to stay connected and flow.Think of your presentation as an “hourglass.” Begin with something general and narrow it down with examples. End your presentation by restating your purpose or with a story that leaves your audience thinking and wanting more.
3.    Support your points with facts. Prove each of your points with examples. Use personal stories if necessary.
4.    Watch your voice. Your voice tells your story. Remember how you loved hearing stories from your parents? They used their voice to express the characters. Well, you need to do the same. You are on a stage and you are giving a performance! Monotonous or sloppy speech won’t express your passion. You can have perfect posture and a great wardrobe, but if your speaking voice is weak, your audience will notice. Professionals, and your friends, can advise you.
5.    Be interesting. Your audience will forgive almost anything, but BOREDOM. Your job is to be memorable. That is where you generate your credibility.

Every time you speak, you have a chance to practice, inform and persuade and shape how people perceive you. Every time you speak, you’ll gain confidence and that builds rapport with business contacts. Remember, your audience wants you to succeed. They are on your side! 
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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

A Good Idea!


Company jargon should stay in your company. Using it with callers or with people outside the office
causes mistakes and confusion. You are far more familiar with these terms than the people outside of “work.” You won’t impress anyone with knowledge that they don’t understand. In fact, you will annoy and frustrate them.

IT’S JUST A GOOD IDEA!
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Wednesday, April 19, 2017

ViewPoint: Breathwork

Breathwork can be soothing and enjoyable (once you understand its principles). An important part of breath work is letting it flow, rather than making it happen. The free flow of breath brings peace and tranquility. It prepares the mind to flow freely.
When you direct your attention to the breath, your mind may want to go elsewhere. Every time you focus on “breath,” you let go of your “mind chatter.” Concentrating on breathing enables your mind to gather its scattered energies so that you are more clear. When you focus on your breathing, you gradually enlarge the scope of your awareness.

The “breathing awareness” can help you with your day to day activities. Turning to your breath can keep you grounded. It can assist you in cutting down on unnecessary thinking that distracts you from the here and now.

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Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Know Your Breath (End)

Know Your Breath
Part 3: Fatigue: Settle into your everyday breath. After it has slowed down, pause briefly after all exhalations. Rest in the stillness. Continue to explore lengthening your exhalations for 10-15 breaths. Then lengthen your inhalations. Watch your breath for 10-15 minutes.

Part 4: Depression: Working with depression can be more difficult that working with anxiety or fatigue. You don’t want to force your breath. It can increase your lousy mood. As with any breathwork, start by settling into a comfortable position and allow your breath to slow down and smooth out. For depression, the effect of the breath on your mood is the best indicator of how long you should continue this exercise. Start out with a time goal – say ten minutes. Work your way up as you need to.

How often do you need to practice? There’s no pat answer. It’s a practice like any other and the more you exercise your ability to watch your breath, the better you’ll become at doing it. If you can, schedule a breath awareness for 10 minutes a day. See how it is when you are anxious vs. relaxed. Pay attention to how long the positive feeling lasts. You may find that conscious breathing not only soothes your emotions and boosts your energy; it can also make your life richer and more fun!
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Wednesday, April 5, 2017

The "F" Word

I can’t change my history. I wish I could. I’ve been the “token male” (minority) in my family, in academics, and in my career. I don’t have the sports gene. I don’t have any interest in it. I’ve tried. Alas, it’s a lost cause. During my high school years, I was bullied by jocks. The “f” word (rhymes with hag) was hurled on me, (and my friends), every day. We ALL had absent fathers who didn’t/couldn’t model masculinity. Back in the day, (maybe even now); being active in sports was the way boys bonded. If you excelled, you WERE a man. If you didn’t, something was wrong with you. It’s hard to navigate your life when you buy into what “society” says is the way you should be.
Recently, I read a book (What I Know For Sure) by the respected talk show host, Tavis Smiley. It’s about his experiences growing up poor and African American in the U.S. Due to some familial circumstances involving his aunt; he became a product of a 14+ family. His step father took on the responsibility of his, and his wife’s (sisters) children. The stress was unbelievable, and eventually caused his step father to lose his temper by calling Tavis  the “f” word. He beat him with an electrical cord. This action placed Tavis in foster care. His relationship with his step-dad was never the same.
I had forgotten my history with those high school taunts. After reading Smiley’s book, I thought about how parents use that word (toward their sons), when they want them to follow a societal map, vs. a personal map, of who they should be. You hear many parents say they love their child unconditionally, but I wonder how that unconditional love changes when there is even a hint, that their child goes off the path of ultra-masculinity. Maybe their interests are geared to the aesthetic or cultural areas. Anything that’s off the beaten path may “ignite” the word.
Many times, parents put their sons in sports to teach them skills and to place them in a “masculine” environment. The parents get angry at the coaches, and shout at them, when their kids sit out a game. These same parents demean their kids in public in an effort to measure up. In actuality, they’re dealing with an element of shame. These dads see that maybe their sons don’t like a sport (or sports in general), and constantly push them into an arena that doesn’t fit. The sons try to assimilate and learn the skills, because they want to please dad, and want his approval. But what is learned LOUDER is that they’re not masculine enough, and maybe dad is right. Once that message is in place, it grows like a nagging, stubborn weed. As many times as you try to uproot it, it grows back with a haunting message that the son isn’t good enough.
Many of the guys that went to my high school, didn’t have dads that spent time with them. These dads were the bread winners. Their established roles were to “make the babies” and leave the raising of them, to the “wife.” While this type of family dynamic was the “norm,” it didn’t have positive longevity. The son felt abandoned in that, their dad wasn’t there for them. In addition, the son felt ridiculed and shamed by the dad, who believed they’d change their son into “macho men,” only to realize that the damage was done. Calling them the “f” word (or even suggesting that they were gay or unmanly (by dad’s standards) already created a confusing path of “what is masculine and normal.” It only takes one moment to degrade a son. The seed is already planted. The son looks for validation from his father. If it’s not provided, the son continues to believe what the dad (and mom) believe in their spirit. The son’s spirit splinters because he wants to prove he’s worthy to his dad. He also wants to pursue those interests that he knows he’s good at.
Case in point. One of my childhood friend’s dad, enrolled him in many heavy-duty contact sports (football, hockey, baseball). While the son did well in these sports, he excelled at tennis, swimming and volleyball. The dad continued to push. The son established his own path. In addition, the son gravitated to theatre and music. The dad didn’t approve. In fact, the son’s seventh grade teacher degraded the son’s interest in theatre by saying, “only girls act.” These comments, and overt behaviors, crushed the son’s spirit. He put his interests on “hold” and never pursued them. He grew angry with his decision to not pursue his passions, because of what others might say/said about him.
All of these comments destroy a spirit, until one day the person is filled with such utter despair and feelings of worthlessness, that they commit suicide. For many, this seems a logical solution to what society says a boy/man “should be.”
All of this, as a result of a parent using the “f” word in order to move a boy into what they believe is “masculine.”
Focus: Masculinity, Parents, Spirit

Question for you:1) Are you a parent who’s pushed your son into a situation because you can’t handle/understand a softness/sense of empathy that goes against your model of masculinity? 2) Are you aware of your biases toward men who don’t meet your standard of masculinity?

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Culture And Communication

When you talk with someone who speaks English as a second language, it’s important to stay with
basic language to reduce the risk of poor communications. Follow these guidelines: 1) Avoid slang expressions (i.e. Close but no cigar.”) 2) Avoid jokes, they usually are misunderstood. 3) Be patient, language conversion takes time. Remember, foreign speakers convert what you said to their native language, and then respond back in English. 4) Be prepared to repeat yourself (and do it exactly). If you paraphrase something, you’ll throw off a foreign speaker, because you said something new. 5) Speak slowly. If the person has trouble understanding you, speak slower, not louder! 6) Check for “understanding.” Observe their body language because the majority of language is nonverbal. If you feel they didn’t understand you, make a point of going over points that are were unclear. 7) Throughout your conversation or presentation, show sensitivity. Remember that you’re talking with someone from a different culture who speaks English as a second language.
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Thursday, March 23, 2017

It Can Sting!

Anyone in leadership knows that criticism goes with the job. You constantly have to make decisions, and with every option you choose, there will be somebody waiting to tell you what a big mistake you’ve made. Can you smell the fear?
Once you learn a process of evaluating criticism, you take control of it, rather than allowing it to control you. You don’t waste your time and energy with things that are negative – you move forward and use the criticism to better yourself. Criticism can be good. Use it for your growth. When someone gives you positive or negative criticism, take a moment to think about it, and ask yourself what you can learn from it.
If it is not done well, criticism can sting. The person who is criticized can get hurt or angry. It’s good to understand the source of the criticism. Instead of getting defensive, get calm and ask for specific information.
The goal of constructive criticism is to steer clear of an “attack.” Use a “respect and collaboration” approach.

Just for today, think about how you criticize people. When you criticize, do you maintain the person’s integrity, or do you “go for blood?”
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Friday, March 17, 2017

Know Your Breath (Part 2)

Know Your Breath

Part 2: Anxiety: You can work with anxiety by focusing on your exhalations and lengthening them – deliberately and gradually. If your everyday exhalations last about 6 counts, draw each one out to seven for a few breathing cycles and so on, until you find a length that suits you. Once you’ve increased the length of your exhalations, pause briefly at the end of each of them. 
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Sunday, March 12, 2017

The "Art" Of A Network

Looking for a job is a “job.” If you’ve pounded the pavement for any length of time without any results, it’s time for a new approach.
A creative and effective way to get your foot in the door is to network. That means talking to your friends and acquaintances and telling them you’re available for work. In many situations, it’s not what you know, but who  you know, that will get noticed. An important aspect to networking is being pro-active. You have to get off your butt and put out “notice” that you need a job. Here are 2 ways to get you started!
1)    Get business cards! A business card is a “mini-resume.” Having as much pertinent information on it, will get people to remember what you “do.” The cards don’t have to be “whistles and bells,” just simple. Use both sides if necessary. Carry a stack of them in your wallet or purse. You never know when you’ll need them. How many times did someone ask, “Can I have your card?” only for you  to respond, “I don’t have any with me.” American Express says it best, “Don’t leave home without it!”
2)    Prepare your “elevator speech!” Elevator speech might be a new term for some of you but it is critical for networking. Think about what career skills make you a good hire. Where do you want to work and why? (This is the part where you have to BRAG about yourself because THAT is what will get people to notice you.) Here’s an example: “My name is Bob and I’m a speech consultant. I help foreign speakers reduce their accents. I am also a spiritual/executive coach for clergy and ministry students, and I write grants. I want you to remember me for accents, clergy and dollars!” See how concise that is? Think about how fast it takes an elevator to go up  (or down), a couple of floors. In order to have people remember you, you have to sell yourself! This takes practice but the more you do it, the easier it gets.

You are destined for a good job! Incorporate these 2 ways into your “job” bank and see what happens.

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Sunday, March 5, 2017

The Big Picture: Open Up!

Your experience(s) color or filter the way that you see, or hear things. You can be in a room of 20 people listening to a speaker and EACH person will hear something different. Why? Because each of us has an inborn filter which creates our perspective(s) on things. If you are stubborn, you will not be able to compromise or adapt to situations because your filters LIMIT you. The best way to change that, is to ask yourself, How am I seeing this situation? Am I open to learning something new or is my PAST the guiding force right now?

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Tuesday, February 28, 2017

The Stories We Tell

I’ve been in counseling for 6 months now. I entered because I was anxious and depressed with losing my home and my job. It’s amazing how things we put on a shelf for “later,” gob-smack you in the face, with a message of do it NOW. One of the issues I’m dealing with is identifying what “love” is. Truth be told. I was never told those words for the first twenty years of my life. My parents grew up in the depression and they didn’t have that validation. It’s amazing how you long to hear the words “I love you,” and the actions that demonstrate that type of action. It’s also amazing that if those words/actions of love and respect were never shown to parents/grandparents; how they’d be able to demonstrate it to their kids.
When I began counseling, my therapist asked me about my goals. I need to understand what love is. I have no idea what those words mean.” Those words came seamlessly. Yeah, I was struggling (in secret) with this for a long time. I never thought I’d blurt it out so BOLDLY. I gotta think that my guardian angels had something to do with it.
So, my homework was to ask people how love was modeled in their home. Were the words, “I love you” ever spoken as they grew up? I picked 3 people who I trusted, give me their time and their perspective on love.
The first person I asked was a new friend. We were friends back in the day, but life took over and we lost touch with each other. He shed light on how he never heard it, or spoke it to his parents or siblings. I was moderately shocked with his story. I was MAJORLY shocked that his truth was so honest. It caught me off guard because I thought that due to his family dynamic (+5 in his family), that those words were a part of his everyday experience. His “truth” showed me that I wasn’t alone. There were others that didn’t model love.
The second person was from my Zumba class. She’s a very energetic gal. Her parents modeled love but weren’t as open with the words. When she married and had children, she recognized that her “I love you” needed to be consistent. Her and her husband agreed that their actions and words, would establish a strong foundation for her family. As we talked, she was adamant with speaking those words from her heart. They needed to be said in the moment – face to face. She revealed that her sister would consistently say “Love ya” every time they spoke on the phone. She knew her sister meant it. It didn’t have the same depth as if it were said, face to face. She brought this to her attention. Her sister couldn’t convey it that way. This girl recognized that although her sister meant it, it didn’t convey the seriousness and depth, as if it were said every day, face to face, heart to heart. This was the way she wanted to convey her feelings of love.
The third person was older. She’s been my friend for over 10 years. Her truth gob-smacked me. It was a “come to Jesus moment.” Like me, her parents grew up in the Depression. They didn’t have much; unless you consider that her parents’ actions were the guideposts to having her recognize that the sacrifices they made were their way of saying “I love you, you’re important. I’m glad I created you. I want you to know that you’re my legacy.” At one point, she revealed a final moment with her dad (who was dying in the hospital). She went to visit him. As she bid him goodbye, he said the words, “I love you.” As she said that, she wept. I did too. Her truth spoke volumes on how we reveal how we care for one another. Some of us are unable to say the words, ever. It doesn’t mean the caring isn’t present. In other instances, the words are a constant reminder that you’re important and valued. For some of us, that is what we need. In the final situation, the words were the “legacy” needed to reinforce that they were valued.
My friend went on to tell me that she hoped that although I was going through a rough patch (including turning 60), that I’d never lose my kind heart. It was the first thing she fell in love with. At that point, the flood gates opened. I excused myself from the table to compose myself and to process what she (and the others) revealed. When I returned, I told her that I loved her and that I was fortunate she came my way. It was the best present she could’ve given me. Why? Because I asked for her truth, her story. She (like the other two), told me the TRUTH. What I had to do was ask. Was it scary? No. It felt right. I had to risk asking all 3 of them to give me a perspective. They did.
I walked away from that exercise with a new found trust, that we can learn a lot from the people, and “the stories we tell!”

Focus: Intimacy, Friendship, Love, Spirit, Risk
Question for you: 1) What story(s) can you tell willingly? Why some, and not others? 2) Have you ever been gob-smacked with a story someone told you? What did you learn from it?


Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Reduce Your Accent (Part 3)

Part 3:
Pay attention to word endings! Pronounce the ending of each word.

Read aloud! Read aloud in English. This could be a novel or the newspaper. Do this for about 15 minutes a day. This will help you strengthen the muscles needed to make certain sounds. Research shows that it takes about three months of daily practice to develop strong mouth muscles for speaking a new language.

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Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Following A Mentor

A mentor is someone that inspires you to be your best. Undoubtedly, finding a mentor should be at the top of your list. Mentors EXUDE Exceptional Communication Skills!


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Tuesday, February 7, 2017

What God Promised

Many of us use a prayer as a “wish list” similar to what kids create for Santa at Xmas time. Many people want God to do EVERYTHING for them.
God never promised to live our lives. He DID promise that he would walk us through things on a day to day basis.
Our part with God is to be faithful and obedient to what he’s called us to do. His part is to lead, guide and protect us.
Do what you know what you can do today. Trust God to do what you can’t.

Words: Trust, God, believe, spirit, faith, faithful
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Wednesday, February 1, 2017

10 Ways To Raise Your Self Esteem

We are ALL works in progress. Some days are better than others. Here are 10 ways to raise your WORTH!
1)    Stop thinking negatively. Don’t focus on weaknesses. KNOW your strengths.
2)    AIM for ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
3)    Remember that a mistake is a learning experience. Everyone makes mistakes. People’s talents continue to develop.
4)    When you jump into something new, you get “in touch” with your talents.
5)    Set goals for yourself. Ask yourself what you want to accomplish and then make a plan on how to get it done.
6)    Clean out your JUNK! That means get rid of all the hurtful and unconstructive things that other people told you. It’s one thing to be given constructive criticism; it’s another to be mean about it.
7)    List 3 things that you’d love to have the courage to do.
8)    Be passionate about something.
9)    Remember that your self-worth is defined by you. That whole thing of “you complete me” from Jerry Maguire is a bunch of crap. Don’t buy into it.

10) Choose to be happy.
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Thursday, January 26, 2017

Reduce Your Accent: Part 2

Ways to Reduce Your Accent 
Part 2:
Ask someone! Make a list of the words that are hard for you to pronounce. Ask a native speaker to
say them for you so that you can hear how they are pronounced. Record these words, listen to them and then practice saying them.

Listen to books on tape! Listen and read at the same time. Record yourself reading some sections of the book. Compare your English to the speaker on the tape.

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Friday, January 20, 2017

3 Steps To Simplify You!

Did you know that the choices you make control "your calendar of life?" That's right -- every time you over schedule yourself or can't say no, cause you feel guilty, is a choice. That choice controls your calendar. Get this NOW! Your choices are MORE than your circumstances. No one is forcing your choices.

Aren't you tired of ALL the madness? It's time to simplify your life! Here's 3 ways to get you started.

1) Figure out your life purpose. What do you do well  -- teach, guide, lead? Once you figure out your life purpose, let your purpose guide you to your goal(s).

2) Organize your activities around your purpose. If your purpose is to "teach," look for activities where you can do that.

3) Find your harmony or balance. Once you figured out your purpose, and you've organized your activities to meet it, it's time to bring your activities into an agreement or "bridge" with your goals.

You only have today to live the life that you want and deserve. Let go of what doesn't work and focus on what makes you happy!

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Saturday, January 14, 2017

Asking For Help!

It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help or advice. In fact, it's foolish not to ask. Good advice from a trusted advisor can help you expand your alternatives and evaluate your choices.

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Saturday, January 7, 2017

LQQK AT YOUR LANGUAGE!

How do you come across to other people? Do you make your mark or are you forgettable? Maybe your language needs a "tune up?" Yes, you read THAT right, your language may need a tune up!

Language is complicated. It's not just a bunch of words thrown together. It's a complicated process that is a result of your past and present life experience(s). It can be defined with the following terms: 1) content, 2) form and 3) use. Your content is the underlying meaning of what you say. Form is your vocabulary or grammar. Use is your communication purpose. All three processes are important and interconnect. You can't have one WITHOUT the other(s). 1) Content is ineffective when you can't follow detailed or complicated instructions or have trouble expressing yourself because of a limited vocabulary. 2) Form is ineffective when you use grammatically incorrect sentences.(Pay attention to sports figures. They are prime examples.) 3) Use is ineffective when you can't use vocabulary for specific situations and maintain the conversational topic.If any of this rings your "communication" bell, it's time for a "tune-up!"

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Monday, January 2, 2017

A Good Idea

Want a good way to improve your language skills? Read different types of books! Different books (and magazines) use different styles of writing that improve language and vocabulary. Take a break for the latest People and read the latest Reader's Digest. Watch what happens!

It's just a good idea (and it doesn't cost you a cent)!

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