Thursday, November 16, 2017

Interviewing And Selling YOURSELF!

It’s About Standing Out! (Interviewing And Selling YOURSELF!) 

Are you in the midst of a job search? Are you feeling the pressure of finding work NOW? Are you at the end of your rope? Do you think you nailed the interview only to find, the job’s filled? Well, here’s some insight to EMPOWER (and give you the EDGE). Interviews are more of a conversation. In order to succeed, come prepared with information and stories, that show you’re the best person for the job.
When you go to an interview, leave your nerves at the door and remember to be yourself. Think of your past jobs and remember what made you “stand out!” What was it that saved a company millions of dollars? Did you establish a precedent as a leader?
When you’re interviewing; your (future) employer is LQQKING for skills that go beyond your degree. Here are some examples of what your employer wants to know: 1) Are you an asset or a liability? Will you make $$ for us and bring in new clients? 2) Are you a team player? Will your skills add to, or enhance our corporate structure? (Many times, a company is LQQKING for a certain personality to fit in with, or challenge, the “current” corporate climate.)
In order to HAVE the edge, you report how: 1) You made or saved $$ for your past employers, 2) You led your team to accomplishing goals that were unprecedented in the past.
Do you get the idea now?
When you understand that ALL jobs come with a history, you’ll learn, that sharing your stories, makes you marketable, and more attractive to a potential employer. Interviewing is ALL about WIN-WIN. The company wins when they hire you, and you win, when you bring something fresh, into a company. When your intention is all about WIN-WIN, you come closer to landing a job that you really want. Be prepared to stand out and sell yourself!

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Friday, November 10, 2017

Body Language and You!

Body Language: The eyes reveal the soul. When you pay close attention, you can gain a lot
more from a person’s eyes – confidence and competence for starters. When you’re focused, people know that you’re listening and paying attention.

You won’t convey the same affect if you’re looking around the room, looking at your watch or looking as papers on your desk. These kinds of actions show that you’re interested in doing something else.


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Friday, November 3, 2017

Transcendent Conversations

Transcendent Conversations
Do you thank people for being in your  life?  When people have been with you for years, do you thank them for enhancing your life? Do you  even think about  it?
The other day I had  this conversation with Barb, my dental hygienist. We’re both in our sixties and have had to navigate some challenging situations. A common “theme” for both of us was deciding how we needed to live our lives differently. This theme was in my head for a while. I was grateful that she opened the door for us to have it. Granted, I was a captive audience as she was cleaning my teeth, but nonetheless I was appreciative. Barb told me that one of her patients (Mary) was at a crossroads. She was neighbors with a woman for over 30 years. The woman wanted to downsize and sell her home. She wanted a simpler life. Mary understood this  and wanted the  best for her friend. She recognized that her friend needed to move on.  She also knew that she needed to develop a “Plan B” in making new friends and establishing new interests. Having a solid friendship with a neighbor is  RARE. Many NEVER have anything as extraordinary as that. As Mary recognized the need to move on and process this extraordinary relationship, she observed her neighbor growing distant. Their coffee time grew less and less. Mary moved on with her life because she knew she wanted more with people. (Mary’s neighbor moving away was a “wake up” call to pursue more out of life.)  I asked Barb if Mary ever had a “thankful” conversation with  her neighbor. Barb asked me what I meant and I explained that (for  me), having conversations with people who  touched my life were at the core of  who I  was. That at 60, it was important for me to validate the  importance of  people, and what they’ve done for  me. I also told her how  unfinished (certain relationships) were, when those conversations never happened. When I explained what I meant, Barb understood, because she too, was in a place where quality time with people, was at the top  of  her  list.
Our conversation left me encouraged because I believed I was the only one who felt this  way. I had seen the emptiness (and felt it) in leaving people, without making time to say goodbye.
In the last couple of  months, I’ve wanted to have these conversations with people who I deemed were important. They touched my spirit in  PROFOUND ways! I reached out to them to reconnect. Alas, there was no response. I have  to admit, it  hurt my feelings because this “reconnect” seemed so  simple and right. What  I missed then, that I KNOW NOW, is that the  other  person needs to do their  part in order for moments to  be  as solid, as what Mary learned about her 30 year friendship with her neighbor. It was rare and may never happen again!
In fact here is something I’ve written (and given to people), so that they understand their impact in my life.
“Thank You For Being My Friend Day”
I really wish there was a “thank you for being my friend day.” If there were, there would have to be some rules . . .
It would have to happen when the person was alive, telling a person, “thank you, you’ve changed my life,” when they’re in a box wouldn’t do it. You can’t understand or appreciate the words when you’re dead.
It would need to happen daily – “thank you” is not something one grows tired of.
It would need to happen spontaneously. If it were said at the same time, in the same way, it would lose its meaning.
It could take any form – a phone call, a card, a simple gesture, or maybe a 1-1, face to face form (yeah, that would be the best).
In some cases, it would involve tears – when you’ve never told someone “thank you” for the first time (and really and truly mean it), it might spark tears. But you know what? --- tears are ok.
It would have to involve a smile or laughter. When you’re friends with someone, smiles and laughter are good.
It would need a kiss and a hug. We can’t get enough of those!
Last but not least, your heart would have to shine and glow! Being told, “you’re important, you matter, you’re smart, you’ve challenged me to take risks and test myself, or, I’m glad you came my way,” can spark a lot. Just think of what E.T. looked like when he was excited and happy.
Yeah, I wish there was a “thank you for being my friend day.” Maybe it should start today? Look at all the things that would happen.
Today is your day.
Thank you for being my friend. © Bob Roza
Focus: Friendship, closure, spirit,

Questions for you: 1) What transcendent conversations do you need to have? 2) What’s preventing you  from having  them? Why?

Monday, October 30, 2017

Red Alert: Ear Buds and Head Phones

Be careful with ear buds and head phones! Why? Many times the volume is louder than it needs to
be. The volume doesn’t need to  be so loud that others hear it. That is the quickest way for you to get a hearing loss. An easy way to check the volume is to turn on the i-pod or radio BEFORE you put in the ear piece or ear buds. If you can hear the music,  the volume is too loud.

IT’S JUST A GOOD IDEA!
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Monday, October 23, 2017

Listening And Taking Notes

Good listeners are note takers. They realize that minds are imprecise and memory is imperfect. Note taking helps you follow unorganized speakers, locate key points and identify supporting data.


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Monday, October 16, 2017

Com. Power >> Creative Visualization

Com. Power
The following steps can help you resolve a problem . . . every time! 

1.       Close your eyes.
2.      Visualize the problem you have.
3.      See the problem as an “onion.” Peel away a layer to see what’s underneath.
4.      See the problem clearly.
5.      Do this until you get to the core. That is the “real” problem.
6.      See your solutions.
7.      Open up your eyes and carry out the process.


Try these steps every time you want to identify and resolve a problem. Trust the process and trust the information you see when your eyes are closed. 


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Tuesday, October 10, 2017

VIEWpoint

Do you make New Years Resolutions? I did when I was younger, but not anymore. Making a resolution for a whole year seemed overwhelming. I’ve learned that if you take things one step at a time, and one day at a time, that ideas are resolved better and faster.

Where do you need to start? What are your instincts screaming right now? Do yourself a favor and do it!


Make a point of resolving things right away. Because, the quicker you get it together, the quicker the results!

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Tuesday, October 3, 2017

COMMIT to Listening

In order to become a better listener, there needs to be a commitment. Listening requires patience, persistence and a plan for improvement. Casual involvement and genuine commitment are not the same thing. What is your commitment to your listening improvement?


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Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Communicating Your "Best Self"!

Are you communicating your best self? Can you answer that question quickly or do you need to give it some thought? If  you have to take some time to think about it, you probably aren’t making your mark. It takes just five seconds to make an impression. 

Many people have trouble communicating (i.e. whether it’s asking for a raise or saying you’re “sorry” and really meaning it. Your communication skills are always in flux. Many people don’t really pay attention. There’s the rub. Communication is invisible and happens in an eye-blink. Words can cut to the quick. It’s important to pay attention to how you’re coming across and here are 5 strategies to change your communication image.

1.       Find a mentor. A mentor is someone who inspires you and is a role model. The best role models convey dignity and respect for others. Through their dignity and respect comes effective communication. John F. Kennedy and Oprah Winfrey are people who conveyed intelligence, compassion and a great sense of spirit.

2.      Find a friend for feedback. The best feedback comes from someone you trust; who can tell the truth (and do it in a way that doesn’t put you on the defense). Ask a friend for honest feedback. How does your communication come across? Does it need work? IN what ways (i.e. vocabulary building, listening better, etc.)? Opening up a conversation for this feedback can get you to understand what is happening under the surface. Without constructive criticism, you don’t know what skills to keep, and which ones to throw out?

3.      Check out your strengths and weaknesses. (This comes after your friend’s feedback.) There are moments when your communication shines, and moments when it falls flat. A quick way to see yourself is to make two columns – one for strengths, the other for weaknesses. Do a thorough check on what you do well (i.e. listening to others, conveying empathy), and what you don’t (i.e. interrupting others, overuse of slang, etc.). Now, challenge yourself to work on making your weaknesses a communication strength. Some traits might take a while to overcome. The objective is to face what isn’t working and making a conscious effort to change it. Focus on the words conscious and effort. Many people don’t. If you don’t pay attention, you can’t change the impression you’re making.

4.      Get a theme song! Yes, you read that right. Find a song that empowers you! We all have artists that we like and admire. Many times, songs “speak: to us. It can be Irene Cara’s Flashdance –What A Feeling to Steve Winwood’s While You See a Chance (Take It). Find a song that makes you feel good about yourself and gives you confidence. Now play it when you’re faced with a situation that warrants you to face your fear(s), and challenges you to step out of your comfort zone.

5.      Face your fear(s). Fear is a constant for any new situation (i.e. asking for a rasiee, saying “I’m sorry” to someone you’ve hurt.) You can’t get away from it. A good way to face fear is to break it into small parts. Analyze the “whole” situation and determine your strategy. Break things down into small parts. What can you handle first and foremost? Now, do it! Afterwards, assess your performance and move on. Bit by bit, you’ll get better.
It takes just five seconds to make an impression. These five steps will point you in the direction for communicating “your best self.”


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Wednesday, September 20, 2017

A Good Idea!

Do you get anxious when you meet someone new? Does going to a party make you nervous?
Here’s a great way to change that. Ask a question. When you ask a question, it conveys that you want to get to know a person. Where did you get that tie? How did you make that recipe? Questions get people to REVEAL who they are. They are GREAT ice-breakers (and a great way to flirt)!

IT’S JUST A GOOD IDEA!
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Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Trust = Commitment

Trust equals commitment and if there is not trust, the relationship won’t evolve. Trust is a slow process that happens over time. When there’s a betrayal of trust, it threatens the relationship. Research shows that it takes up to five times to gain a new customer, then to sell an existing one.


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Tuesday, September 5, 2017

A "Youthful" Appearance

I believe we ALL have a voice and we can ALL make a difference. I was privy to this a couple of months ago when I saw the daughter of my Zumba teacher come up and lead the class to a song by Shakira. A brief history is needed.  My zumba teacher began as a student. She stayed in the back of the class. She was there BUT no one knew her because she was so shy. She didn’t talk to many people. That changed when the Zumba teacher we had, saw her potential and encouraged her to become certified. She did and just experienced her 4 yr. anniversary. This teacher recognized her shy and introverted limitations. She walked into her spotlight. She made her class, her OWN. She recognized the benefits she attained and wanted them for her daughter. Her daughter had potential but was the shy wallflower in the background. The mom wanted her daughter to “taste” the spotlight and encouraged her to come to class and dance.

Many times, the daughter came up and danced with her mom. One day, that changed. The mom played the Shakira song. The daughter stepped alongside of her and took (what she thought) was her rightful place. The mom danced and the girl followed. The mom stepped into the class and left the daughter alone in the spotlight.

The daughter recognized the moment and OWNED it. She danced and was TRANSFORMED. Her body took on a persona like I’ve never seen. She EXUDED confidence. She was in her EMPOWERMENT. I don’t think the daughter recognized the MAGNITUDE in how she commanded the audience. When the song was over, the ENTIRE class broke out in applause to support the girl and her efforts.

After class, I spoke with both of them. I told the daughter how she did something PHENOMENAL for herself and others. The mom revealed that she didn’t want her daughter to be in the background but to be a beacon of light (my words) for others to witness.
Sometimes, we HAVE to push someone into the spotlight because they have the potential. It’s just that no one has ever done anything about it. It’s one thing to speak and encourage. It’s another thing to create circumstances or situations where the person in question walks into an unknowing spotlight where the light is so bright, it BLINDS you.

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Focus: Potential, Inspiration, Empowerment


Question For You: 1) Are you manifesting your potential or are you content to watch the grass grow? 2) Where is your potential and/or gifts (i.e. art, music, etc.)? Are you using them? 3) What steps can you take to make your potential grow?

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

LQQK at YOU!

Communication is invisible and happens quickly. Whether you find your skills not working at the office (or in your personal life), it’s necessary to STOP and look at what’s happening between you and the people you’re with. It may be the way you’re communicating, then what you’re trying to say. Negative communication styles or poor communication skills for handling disagreements and attitude differences can be overcome.


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Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Tell The Truth

Telling the truth/building trust is the “glue” to communication. “Little white lies” or telling “fibs” tears it apart. And, once you’re caught not being honest, it’s very hard for anyone to trust you (or your company).


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Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Visual Vs. Auditory Learner!

What type of learner are you – a visual or an auditory one? One type of learner understands information through the ears (auditory) or when they hear it. Another understands it through the eyes (visual) or when they see it. If you’re one of those visual learners, you might understand why “the eyes have it.”


The majority of your language is nonverbal. That’s right! You might say one thing with your words but your body language might be saying something else. And, in order for your message to be in sync,  and to come across clearly to others; both your verbal and nonverbal language have to work together. If they don’t, you’re not  communicating as well as you need to, and you’re wasting precious time.

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Wednesday, August 9, 2017

It's About Your Job (Plan B)!

Looking for a job is a job. Many of us pound the pavement and still no green light. You have a great resume, wardrobe, and you’re getting interviews, but still NO JOB! Your frustration is through the roof. You can’t take much more! STOP, breathe and create a PLAN B. Here are 4 easy steps.
1)    Be WIDE open: Gone are the days when you’d open the paper, find a job that interested you, send out a resume, interview, and be employed. It was easier then. Jobs are competitive especially with unemployment being so high. It’s time to push yourself and be creative. Use a number of strategies beyond the internet – network, create flyers and use social media tools like LinkedIn. All are professional and “politically correct” avenues to getting your foot in the door and gaining long-term employment.
2)    PRACTICE: O.K., so you feel good about a couple of your interviews. You weren’t nervous and you didn’t stumble or make a fool of yourself. But still, no call back. What gives? Well, you have to practice some more. Remember the phrase “Practice Makes Perfect?” Well, in this case “practice” makes you better. Use a mirror, see how you look. Use different vocabulary. Outline your approach for the next interview. How can you sell yourself BETTER? Many times, an employer looks for creativity. If you’re doing the “same ole, same ole” approach to the job hunt, you will not get many call backs. The idea is to Stand Out!
3)    Assess YOU: After your interview, it’s time for a YOU assessment. How did you do? Did you take steps to control and close the deal (and get to the next level of interviews) or fall flat as a pancake. Each interview can teach you comething about how you can do better – the next time.
4)    Repeat ‘til Employed: Until you’re gainfully employed, you have to keep moving forward. You need to maintain your positive self. The bottom line is repeat, repeat, repeat and add and subtract to your presentation. You’re constantly tweaking. It’s all about motivation and perspective!
*Try saying three (3) positive things to an employee before you offer constructive criticism.
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Thursday, August 3, 2017

Do You See Me?

I’ve gone to a Christian church for the last 8 years. One of the cool things about it,  is the use of male greeters in the parking lot. As you get closer to the entry ways, the greeters welcome you. There is one greeter (Kenneth) who’s gone out of his way to welcome me (weekly) to service.

It’s funny. I’ve been in the field of communication my whole career but only recently noticed Kenneth’s approach to me. Every time he greets me, his eye-contact is intense. Intense as in purposeful; not as in bad. When he looks at me and says “Welcome,” I know he means it. In addition, his handshake is firm. Out of all the people I’ve encountered, I’ve never met anyone like him. The last time he greeted me, his presence stayed with me. My instincts told me to bring this to his attention. The following week he sought me out and greeted me. Out interaction went like this:

Me: Hey, can I talk to you in private?

Him: Sure.

Me: I know you don’t know me but I have to thank you for seeing me!

Him: OK?

Me: My name is Bob.

Him: Hi Bob. My name is Kenneth.

Me: I’ve come here for over 7 years and every day you greet me. Your eye-contact is purposeful. It never wavers. Your eye-contact sees me for who I am. Thank you! In addition, your handshake is ALWAYS firm. It matches your eye-contact. I’m in communications. I’ve met thousands of people in my life but I’ve never met anyone as purposeful as you. Please keep it up.

Him: Welling up with tears.

Me: The last few years have been a challenge. There were many Sundays when I headed to church so depressed, it was unbelievable. Your presence ALWAYS gave me a jump-start to my week. Ya know how many people give lip service to their “welcome?” Well, you’ve never done that.

Him: Tears dropping. Thank you Bob. Ya know, I constantly pray to God to have him use me. We all have gifts. I pray all the time for me to be of use to Him.

Me: Well, let me tell you. You are! You know communication is an invisible medium and it happens so fast. You never know your impact until someone tells you. Last week, when I left church, God told me that the next time I saw you, that I should bring this up. As you’ve brought me up and validated me, you’ve brought me out of a deep depression and brought back my self-confidence. People might not be able to identify how different they feel after being greeted by you but I can tell you, it’s because you saw me with your eyes and validated me with your firm handshake. Thank you for coming my way Kenneth.

Him: Thank you for bringing this to my attention and for coming my way too!

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Focus: Validation, communication, spirit
Question for you: 1) Do you take time to validate others? 2) How do you feel when someone validates you?


Thursday, July 27, 2017

Posture = Confidence

How do you enter a room? Is your head held high showing, “I’m gonna take you on,” or Is your head down with your shoulders slumped? Posture shows confidence and how you carry yourself is directly related to an impression of your ability.


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Thursday, July 20, 2017

Com Power: Tapping Into Creativity

Tapping into creativity . . .


All people have an imagination which leads to creativity. Sometimes, you don’t know how creative you can be unless you tap into it. Here’s a great way to a creative start.

With your dominant hand, write “Write do I start being creative?”

Now, answer the question with your non-dominant  hand.


See where the information takes you!

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Friday, July 14, 2017

Your Communication Style

Don’t put off til tomorrow what you can do today! If your communication style is not working for you, get on it! Don’t wait for the damage to be done. By then, it’s too late. It’s important to know how to “talk it through” so that personal and professional conflicts are handled.


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Saturday, July 8, 2017

Gestures

Do you use gestures to your advantage? Once you observe body language, you’ll see that less is more. The fewer gestures you use, the more you’ll convey power, intelligence and credibility. Make a point of observing people in high positions – CEO’s or politicians.


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Saturday, July 1, 2017

Four Facts About F.E.A.R.

FEAR = F(alse) E(vents) A(ppearing) R(eal)
That’s what FEAR boils down to. It will be a part of your life till the day you die. Here are four facts to help you manage it!

Fact 1: As long as you continue to grow, fear will be with you. Change is inevitable. If you have nothing to be afraid of, you’ll be stagnant. Nothing in life stays the same.

Fact 2: The only way to ease the fear of anything is to go out and do it. The “it” can be anything from buying a new home or starting a family.

Fact 3: You aren’t the only one to experience fear. As long as you’re challenging your comfort zone, you will have fear.

Fact 4: Moving through (or addressing) fear is less frightening than just remaining stuck and NOT doing anything about it. Remember, you HAVE choices!

Feel your fear(s) and do the things you need to . . . anyway!


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Monday, June 26, 2017

Trust And You!

Do people trust you? If they don’t; look where it leads – increases in cost of sales, a reduction in repeat business and high employee turn over. Maintaining a trusting relationship is a matter of good business and is an important part of creating value; because when someone doesn’t trust you, they won’t do business with you. And when that happens, your business fails – BIG time!


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Sunday, June 18, 2017

Guardian Angels

Unless you’re agnostic and don’t believe in God, we all have something in common; namely guardian angels. One thing I’ve learned in church is that we need to tell our angels to work for your benefit. They need to be told (daily) that they need to do their job of guarding, guiding and bringing us our righteous blessings. Every day, I summon my angels to guard, guide and protect me.

By nature,  I’m a responsible person. I go to the doctor for my yearly check up and get my teeth cleaned 2x a year. I’m also good about monitoring the upkeep of my car. However, do to a lack of finances,  I’ve been amiss with maintaining it.

Last week, after church, my brake light came on.  I noticed the brake going down unusually LOW. It struck me as odd because “pre-church,” the brakes were fine. I did a slow round in the Wal-mart parking lot and noticed that the car didn’t stop immediately. It slowed down gradually. I thought Oh fuck, I’ll have to drive really slow on my way home. As I made my way into traffic, I realized how precarious my situation was. I couldn’t get close to other cars because I was unsure of my distance (proximity) to them. Attending to traffic lights was also a challenge. I couldn’t take a risk of a left turn into traffic, for fear of hitting an oncoming car. Driving down any street that had families with young children or pets, put me over the edge. I never thought of how much we take our safety for granted, when we get into the car, and drive.

I got to my apartment and thought about where I’d take it for service. There is a credible auto shop within walking distance. That would be a great choice but I hesitated on doing it in the early morning. There were too many cars and people to navigate. I decided to drive 15 mph to the auto shop (a mere 4 blocks away). I parked my car in the lot and was relieved. The car was in a safe place for the time being.  I’d be able to get it serviced in the morning.

I got to the shop 15 minutes early and checked it in. I contacted the service department 3 hours later. They were swamped and told me they’d get to it by 1:00. I called at 2:30 to ascertain the situation. The service rep told me that I needed a brake overload to the tune of $1400.00. My heart sped up with the price. It actually reacted too early. It should have sped up when the tech said, I’m surprised at how long you drove the car that way. You had no back brakes and about 10% of your front brakes. Everything in the brake system was cracked. When we took off the left rear tire, the actual brake pads etc. just fell off the axle and fell on the floor. You could’ve died or killed someone!

Auditorilly,  I suck!  If you give me info over the phone, I can’t process the complexity of as situation.  I’m a visual learner.  Always have been. You show me a picture of anything and I “get it!”

While I heard, You  could’ve died, I didn’t understand the severity of everything. I kept thinking, You could’ve died. The word “died” should have BLASTED in my brain. It didn’t!
The next day, I went to the auto shop and introduced myself to one of the technicians. He took me to the car and pointed out the damage. Once again, he mentioned “dying.” Then, it hit me! I grew quiet. I didn’t say anything. Then, I looked at him and said, Thank you for saving my life! I inquired as to why I didn’t have any previous warning about the brakes. He said that each car is different in alerting the driver about any hazard.

As I made my way home, I thought about my guardian angels. They had protected me all this time. It was when the brake light came on, that I had to do my part and make sure that I was safe. This situation had so many levels to it: 1) I didn’t crash the car. If I had crashed the car,  I’d be without transportation. That would have posed a serious problem. 2) I didn’t hurt myself or anyone else. If  I’d hurt someone permanently, I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself. 3) The brake light was my wake up call. It told me to address the situation IMMEDIATELY. If I ignored it, the situation would have had severe consequences. 4) I hadn’t died, which told me that God wasn’t done with me yet. He still had a good plan for me. Lastly, 5) This situation was so precarious. It showed me the importance of DIVINE protection and how we’re protected. We just don’t realize how our angels are doing it.
My counselor has told me not to obsess over things like this. If I stay in the Oh My God, that was awful! I’ll lose sight of living every day without fear. For the last 2 years, I’ve lived with Oh My God, that was awful! It affected me physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. Not a good place to be. It’s wasted energy.

I’ve taken steps to not “chew” or revisit the negative. I  have to be conscious and conscientious about the positive. I hope I don’t forget this situation with the car. I want to be able to remember that despite the seriousness of it all, I walked away unscathed. I just have to remember to call upon my angels on a daily basis and to thank them every night for doing 
their part.

Focus: Gratitude, Spirit, Angels, DIVINE  protection, Well-Being


Questions for you: 1) Do you have any situations where an angel stepped forward to change your life (positively)? 2) Have you revisited it to remember the importance of DIVINE protection? 3) Do you talk to and thank your guardian angels on a daily basis? 

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Your BODY LANGUAGE Speaks Loudly!

Studies show that people who show “less” are more relaxed, self-assured and credible. Remember this: it takes time to understand and interpret body language. Getting it right the first time won’t happen. It’s because it’s a tricky process and has many layers. It begins with you identifying patterns. And as you get better and you become more aware, you’ll understand what they’re saying.

Reading body language can help you tailor a message. Mirroring helps with communication. Let’s say you’re discussing something and the person you’re talking with leans against a wall. You can do the same thing. What does it “say?” – you’re solid with them! Let’s say you’re talking to someone and they sit down. Sit down next to them. It conveys harmony and a sense of being on their level.


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Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Your Listening Style

Listening style reflects the attitude and behavior of the listener. It is how someone listens. Your listening style can be a bridge or a barrier to good communication. Listeners can avoid barriers of listening by being aware of what the pitfalls are, and knowing how to avoid them.

The most difficult person to communicate with is the daydreamer. You can tell a daydreamer by the faraway look in his eyes. This type of person is present, but not really there.  They are easily distracted and will change the subject without warning.

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Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Active Listening

Active  listening is the bridge to good communication. It is committed listening based on good habits and self control. Good listening is purposeful and productive because it allows the listener and the speaker to reach an understanding.


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Wednesday, May 24, 2017

The Importance Of Validation

I met Diane at a seminar on downsizing. A number of us “seniors” were there to get a handle on downsizing our homes and all its clutter. After the presentation, the marketing director asked us if we wanted to see some of the properties in this senior residence. Diane and I were the only 2 who jumped in for a “look see!”

As we entered the elevator, Diane spoke about herself and her journey. She was 74. She had two grown children. Her husband had been gravely ill for most of their marriage. When her daughter married out of state, her dad couldn’t attend because of his health. In addition, Diane had lost two businesses as a result of the economy. In addition, she took a fall which warranted a rod in her spine to keep her upright. It took her over a year to heal.
I was humbled by her story. I turned 60 a couple of months before. It wasn’t an exciting birthday. I was trying to rebuild my life after an eviction, job (and friend) loss, and overcoming cataract surgery. I thought I had it bad UNTIL I heard her story.

Can I give you a compliment? I asked.

Sure! she said.

Thank you for being an inspiration to me and to others. Your story told me a lot about overcoming life’s speed bumps. You’ve done it in a very quiet and respectful way!

She burst into tears.

How can you say that? How am I an inspiration?

I told her that many times we silently go through things that have us feeling lost and overwhelmed. Without a “testimony” we think we’re the only one UNTIL we hear about the struggle/success of someone who’s had it worse. In addition, I told her that her story was a PRIME example of moving forward with a greater appreciation of what GOD has in store for ALL of us.  As I spoke, I cried too. That in turn made her, and the leasing agent also cry. I hadn’t really intended on throwing this lady a curve. It just happened.

Validation is important. It needs to be done consistently and purposely. You never know what someone is going through, until you hear their story. In my case, I needed to hear Diane’s story. Her story gave me momentum. I needed to move forward with my life. In hearing her story, I validated her by saying Thank you. You changed my life!
Validation = Changing someone’s life!

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Focus: Validation, spirit, life purpose, inspiration

Question for You: 1) How can your life story inspire others? 2) Who can you share it with?

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

5 Ways To Stop Bad Listening Habits

Here are 5 ways to stop bad listening habits:

  1. Catch yourself in the act. By monitoring your listening behavior, you can catch yourself when you fall into an undesirable behavior.
  2. Fight the habit. Don't wait until tomorrow to change. Admit your behavior when you catch yourself.
  3. Substitute an old habit with a new one. Learn what isn't working for you. Learn the value of your new behavior and trust in yourself.
  4. Brag about your success. When you have done something well, celebrate it. Give yourself a pat on the back.
  5. Be patient. Give yourself a break. You will make mistakes. You will improve gradually.
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Tuesday, May 9, 2017

A Good Idea (About Blogs)


A Good Idea
A professional blog is a great way to show your expertise. What do you “know” better than anyone else? Put that knowledge to “work” for you. The blog doesn’t need to be extensive (just informative). It can be a weekly entry that informs people. Take it a step further by listing it through a search engine like Google or Yahoo (FREE ADVERTISING) > take advantage of an ADSENSE program by featuring ads on your blog. Every time someone visits your blog and clicks on a sponsored ad, you earn $$$$.
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IT’S JUST A GOOD IDEA!

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

5 Tips To Get Over Fear of Speaking in Public

Did you know that people would rather die, than to get up in front of people, and speak? That’s right. What many don’t know is that getting up in front of a group of people is not that hard. It just takes practice and patience.
Public peaking is more than just a large hall, a stage and a podium. Formal and informal events comprise public speaking. Remember this: Public speaking is your ability to inform or persuade an audience, even if it’s an audience of one!
Here are 5 tips to help you be successful:
1.    Have a purpose, make sure your audience knows why you are there and what you are going to talk about. Repeat your “purpose” as needed.
2.    Organize your topics. Your ideas have to stay connected and flow.Think of your presentation as an “hourglass.” Begin with something general and narrow it down with examples. End your presentation by restating your purpose or with a story that leaves your audience thinking and wanting more.
3.    Support your points with facts. Prove each of your points with examples. Use personal stories if necessary.
4.    Watch your voice. Your voice tells your story. Remember how you loved hearing stories from your parents? They used their voice to express the characters. Well, you need to do the same. You are on a stage and you are giving a performance! Monotonous or sloppy speech won’t express your passion. You can have perfect posture and a great wardrobe, but if your speaking voice is weak, your audience will notice. Professionals, and your friends, can advise you.
5.    Be interesting. Your audience will forgive almost anything, but BOREDOM. Your job is to be memorable. That is where you generate your credibility.

Every time you speak, you have a chance to practice, inform and persuade and shape how people perceive you. Every time you speak, you’ll gain confidence and that builds rapport with business contacts. Remember, your audience wants you to succeed. They are on your side! 
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