Sunday, December 27, 2015

Hearing Conservation -- Say What?

Whether you're in construction or a radio DJ, your hearing is vitally important to communication. If you can't hear what people are saying, you're missing a lot. We process or learn communication through our eyes and ears. BOTH have to be working for communication to be ideal. Here's 8 questions to get you thinking Do I need to have my hearing checked?

  1. Have any birth relatives had a hearing loss?
  2. Do you believe people mumble or are speaking in a softer voice?
  3. Do you ask people to speak up?
  4. Can you follow a conversation in a noisy room?
  5. Do you turn the volume up louder than others need to?
  6. Do you watch a speaker's lips when they speak?
  7. Do you hear better out of one ear vs. another?
  8. Have family or friends commented on your inability to hear?
If you answered YES to some of these questions, you may need a hearing test.

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Monday, December 21, 2015

The Best Way

Every day presents us with challenges. In some situations the answer's clear. In other situations, we think, What the heck is this? Every set of problems has its own sets of twists and turns.

The best advice that others may give us is what not to do. We can learn from them but inevitably we need a solution. Their solution may not fit our circumstances. In those cases, we have to tap into the supernatural; namely GOD. He knows the precise answer because he's familiar with the circumstances.

Others may be the expert in what not to do; but it's GOD who can show us the best way to handle things.

When you are overwhelmed with your day; take a break and talk to God about the best way to handle things.

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Tuesday, December 15, 2015

A Visual Connection (Part 3)

Posture: How do you enter a room? Is your head held high showing I'm gonna take you on, or is your head down with your shoulders slumped? Posture shows confidence, and how you carry yourself is directly related to an impression of your ability. Look at these two examples 1) a man standing with his shoulders back and his head held up; 2) the same man with his shoulders forward and hunched. His hands are in his pockets and his eye contact is at the ground.

These two men convey obvious positive and negative messages. (Most people aren't aware of what their body language conveys.) The position of your body sends direct signals to people.

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Monday, December 7, 2015

It's About Forgiveness

As long as you focus on someone you resent, that person controls you. You are worrying about something s/he has already forgotten about. There are 2 ways to get through this:

1) Forgive -- If you want to be emotionally healed, release the offender. Don't try to get even. Forgive, then release.

2) Move on -- When you're tempted to withdraw and put up a wall. You're only hurting yourself. Learn to face the future and move on!

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Wednesday, December 2, 2015

An Observable Transformation

If you followed The Oprah Winfrey Show  you would have heard her say that a common theme from ALL of her guests was that they longed to be acknowledged. It didn’t matter whether you were the President or a stay at home mom; the essence of Do you see me? Did you hear me? Did I say something of value? persevered. Oprah observed that after every show; a guest would inevitably ask her, Was that O.K? meaning, Did what I say meet the criteria of what you wanted?  Her response was YES! I have taught for over 30 years and have seen my share of students who “got” a concept; but, I’ve  never seen a more powerful transformation than someone in my zumba class.

Do you see me?

Tom (not his real name) has been in zumba for over 4 years. I know a little bit about his history. He comes from an extended family and is 1 out of 10 children. On the surface, you’d think that big a family would be great. But, if you think of its logistics, you’d wonder  if the parents would be able to spend quality time with; or  be able to validate, ALL the children. As an educator, I’d say “NO.” I don’t believe that parents would be able to validate or nurture anything consistent, with that many kids.

I stress the word consistent  because ALL people need consistency >> consistent love, consistent kindness, consistent nurturing and validation. It’s something we ALL need. If we don’t get it; we pursue it in obscure ways with the hope that our actions will trigger a positive response. In many cases; we search for it, and when the moment is right; a long awaited response comes.

Tom has taken some risks in our class. Our teachers encourage us to come up and dance. There is an element of empowerment each time you do it. In Tom’s case, it’s a POWERFUL transformation. You’d have to understand the importance of body language to really understand the depth of ALL of this.

Sometimes, his face softens to that of a young child. It’s as if he’s in school for the first time longing to fit in and be accepted. Other times, his body language conveys kindness, compassion and  ultra masculinity. What’s most observable, is a palpable vulnerability. One can never  predict how the music will affect him. What’s important is that he takes risks and goes up with the teacher to dance! Whether he realizes it or not, he’s building a core of confidence. By his actions; he’s showing himself (and others) that “they can do it.”

Do you hear me?

When you’re like Tom and take risks to build your core of confidence, it affects other areas of your life >> establishing friendships that are based on consistency and truth; creating boundaries with family members and loved ones; letting go of relationships that have long died. Pursuing a lover that encourages, loves and challenges you to be the best that you can be. Once you’ve taken a risk (and have seen the positive results of it); you want to take more of them. Building confidence affects communication. Your words take on more power, they affect your actions. You get to that place where you KNOW, they heard me! When you become a risk -taker like Tom; you attain (and build) your integrity.

Transformation takes place in risk. Risk conveys I need to make a change. My old behavior isn’t working anymore. I’m bored with what I’ve done. I need to do more. I need to be (and feel) more alive. Every time you take a risk, you transform yourself into something better! And, when you’ve done this consistently; you build yourself up to a point where your confidence is rock solid. You may not know how it happened, but you WILL get to a point where you will feel it every time you take a risk to stretch yourself.

Transformation also takes place 1 moment at a time. When you’ve never  been validated, you need to seek out situations that validate you. In Tom’s case; he’s validated in zumba. He has instant gratification via the teacher, and the other students in the  class.

Lastly, transformation takes place amidst supportive people. You can’t accomplish anything alone (especially when you’re first starting out). A support team that lifts you up and challenges you, is an important part of transformation. People who consistently support you, have your  back. They’re there for you, and want the best for you, because they BELIEVE in you, and WANT you to work to your potential. Periodically, you may have to evaluate the people who are a part of your inner circle. You may have to ask yourself whether their actions positively support your journey, or defeat it. As hard as it may be, you may have to let go of those people who are bringing you down, or are sabotaging your efforts. If they aren’t supporting you, they need to go -- PLAIN AND SIMPLE. Continue to seek out those people (you trust) that are happy for you, and have a vested, committed interest in your transformation.

The next time you’re at a cross roads and a budding transformation is evident; ask yourself Am I ready to be transformed into something new and powerful, or am I content to stay stuck in situations that don’t enhance my potential?

Did I say something of value?

Question for you: What situations are encouraging you to change for the better? What people are sabotaging your progress or potential? What steps do you need to take to build a stronger core of confidence?

Focus: Spirit, transformation, confidence, wellness