Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Be Less Controlling

Controllers attempt to manipulate the behavior of others. They want things "just so." It helps them feel secure. Controllers are preoccupied with the actions of others.

Controllers carry a LOT of stress. Not only are they concerned with their choices, but they BELIEVE others should think (and act) like them. While we can influence someone, we can't force them to act a certain way.

A controller can't allow other people to be themselves. Deep down, a controller wants people to follow an image of what society projects. What's wrong with this picture is that people aren't an image of who we want them to be. They are who they are. If you're a controller who's tied to an image, you're in trouble.

The solution is to make allowances that people see things differently. The more you adjust, the less stress you'll have. You can probably guess that controllers are a bitch to be around. You can probably guess that most people don't like to be controlled. Why? It's a turn off!

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Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Soaking It Up

Do you soak up your moments? Are you even aware of them? I'm talking about those special moments with family and friends?

Many times we're not even PRESENT in them. They come and go. Many of them are precious. But we're so caught up in other things that we lose sight of the fact that they'll be OVER; they'll never come back.

I know this may sound maudlin and depressing but you only have today to do it; to soak up the moment.

When you make a conscious effort to "soak it up" something cool happens. You let go of people and places that don't matter. You cherish the moments that do matter.

Let go of the stuff that doesn't matter. Learn to "soak it up."

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Friday, December 19, 2014

Leadership And You (Part 23)

Here are 3 ways to accept constructive criticism: 1) don't refuse it, 2) consider it a kindness and 3) keep quiet when it is given to you. Putting these suggestions into practice will help you control how you react to criticism, making it productive rather than destructive, no matter how it was originally intended.

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Friday, December 12, 2014


I have respect for micro-managers. You know the type -- doing a number of tasks at once. Women are more prone to do this. But, I'm sure a lot of men do it too. It LQQKS good on the surface but I wonder of they're FULLY present in what they do.

When you're micro-managing, you're PUMPED. I have to get this done, and this done, and this done, NOW. When you're scrambling all about, it's hard to concentrate. We're pre-occupied in getting EVERYTHING done. It's easy to get stressed out and agitated.

As an experiment, slow down with your thoughts and actions. You'll be surprised at how relaxed and effective you are. Your thinking and listening skills will become sharper. You'll get more accomplished and feel more productive.

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Sunday, December 7, 2014

My Chilling Connection To God

I believe we all learn differently. Some of us are visual or auditory learners. We learn best either by seeing something or hearing it. I’m a visual learner. Show me something a couple of times and I’m able to commit it to memory. I’m totally screwed when anything happens through my auditory channel. If I’m on the phone and someone is explaining something new to me; I panic. Without the visual cues, I’m lost.

Surprisingly, my connection to God, or The Holy Spirit, is not through my visual, or auditory channel. It’s through my goose bump channel. Have you ever had an experience where a “moment of truth” gave you goose bumps? Those goose bump moments are what I consider my Chilling Connection To God. When they happened years ago, I never really paid attention. When they happen now, I tune in and say “Oh, Oh, God is trying to tell me something.” In many cases, it’s like an electrical current running up and down  my body. It’s hard to miss. When it happens now, I ask God “God, is that you talking to me?” If the goose bumps happen afterwards, I know it’s God or The Holy Spirit. This chilling connection ALWAYS occurs when I’m at a fork in the road.

The Bible says that God speaks to us in specific ways. I understand that to mean that God/Holy Spirit/Universe speaks to us in “code” -- a line in a movie, a passage in a book, the wisdom from a friend. And sometimes, those messages can be chilly.

What’s important is whether or not you’re paying attention.

Question for you: Can you identify the specific ways God speaks to you?

Focus: God, spirit, communication, spiritual connection, spirituality, faith

Monday, December 1, 2014

Leadership And You (Part 22)

Talk is cheap, but our words lack meaning if our actions do not back them up. You can say that you support something but if you are not taking practical steps to demonstrate that support, your words are empty and meaningless. How well do your actions back up what you say?

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