Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Leadership And You (Part 17)

Our attitudes color our whole personality. We cannot always choose what happens to us, but we can choose our attitude toward each situation. The secret to a cheerful heart is filling our minds with thoughts that are true, pure and lovely; with thoughts that dwell on the good things in life.

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Wednesday, August 20, 2014

A New Crop Of Friends

This whole “pause” thing has gotten me to look at many things that I’d never thought of before. One thing that I’m reevaluating is the number of friends I have. When I use the word friend I’m talking about people who have my back and would drop EVERYTHING if I needed them. Currently, I have 2 people that fit that description. The other people are acquaintances. They’re people that I might party, and have a good time with. They are not people that I would share my personal troubles to.

I don’t know about you but I believe it’s important to “clean house” with your friends. (I’ve never understood how some people were still tight with people they met in kindergarten. Do they still have things in common? Is their common core really that DEEP? Now, I’m not negating these relationships. I just find them interesting.) In the past, when I shared that I’d clean house, people judged me, “How cruel can you be Bob?” I must admit that I (sometimes) caved and kept friends that should’ve been DUMPED. I bought into that shit of “Maybe, I’m too harsh!” Let me say this, in retrospect, I should NOT have given them the 2nd chance. My instincts were right; the dead wood needed to be gone.

So, now I’m looking for some new quality (healthy) people to hang with. My new criteria? 1) Be open to self-disclosure about who you are. 2) Be available to share quality time with me. That means, “be present and not get distracted with answering texts and emails.” If you are gonna be in my space, turn off the distractions. They are fucking annoying and insulting. 3) Pick up the phone and invite me out! (I admit that I’m a good planner etc. but once again, that was a problem. “Let’s have Bob do the planning and make all the calls. He’s good at that!” FUCK THAT SHIT! NOT GONNA DO THAT ANYMORE! If you wanna be with me, organize it!

I think those 3 criteria are good for starters. I have to be careful with the “give and take” piece. In the past, I gave too much and didn’t get anything in return. I settled for “crumbs” (and compromised), when I wanted a “friendship feast.” I won’t do that anymore!

Question for you: Are there some dead-end friendships that need the “heave-ho?” Have you heaved, or are you still holding on to the dead wood?

Focus: Friendship, support, spirit, fun

Friday, August 15, 2014

Creating A Good Life

Many of us get caught up in busy-ness or acquiring things. In actuality, both can get us into serious trouble if we believe we're secure with them. When a crisis hits, we recognize what's really important!

Accept that you deserve BETTER -- things like kindness, honesty and integrity should be at the top of the list.

Every now and then, step out into the night and LQQK at the sky. Admire the stars and the moon. It will break you open to wisdom, patience and solitude.

Prioritizing your life to let go of the tangibles will bring in the intangible. It's the intangibles that create a good, better life.

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Sunday, August 10, 2014

Leadership And You (Part 16)

What you feed your mind is just as important as what we feed our bodies. The kind of books we read, the people we talk with, the music we listen to, and the films we watch, are all part of our mental diet. Be discerning because what you feed your mind influences your TOTAL health and well-being. A strong desire to discover knowledge is a mark of wisdom.

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Monday, August 4, 2014

God's Daily Plan

While I worked with Mark (Trouble With Intimacy), he told me about something he’s done for years -- asked God how he should spend his day. When he told me about this, I thought it was unusual, yet cool, all at the same time. I mean, how many of us actually ask God, “Hey God, how do you want me to spend my /your day?” In my circle of friends and/or acquaintances; I’d say one person, Mark.

Many of us probably hit the ground running as soon as the alarm goes off -- coffee, kids, make lunch, car pool; the list is endless. But I wonder how our day(s) would evolve if we began each day with that question?

In Mark’s testimony; he shared that his day was more balanced. God would generally tell him what he should do (i.e. use the morning to catch up on phone calls and write your blog; in the afternoon, spend time developing proposal A for client B). This sounds great in theory but I wonder how many of us would CONSISTENTLY do it. I stress the word consistently because many of us get so busy with things. BTW-- Did I tell you how much I HATE that word??? UGH!

So, a couple of days ago, I tried Mark’s idea. I got up and asked God, “How do you want me to spend my/your day?” This is what I heard: “Spend your day in balance -- equal parts with me, parts in work, parts in kindness, parts in exercise, parts in joy/fun. Know that your steps are guided and you WILL not make a mistake.”

So far, so good!

Question for you: Is a consistent, daily connection with God, hard for you?

Focus: Balance, God, spirit, prayer, meditation, fun