Thursday, December 27, 2012

The Real Thing!

Being authentic means you HAVE to get real. It means telling your experiential TRUTH and understanding that when you DO IT, your integrity increases!

True authenticity happens when you get honest about what is happening in your life. You share your hurts, feelings, failures, doubts, fears and weaknesses.

People wear masks to keep their guard up. They act as though EVERYTHING is just "peachy-keen." These type of attitudes are deal breakers.

Being authentic requires you to be courageous and humble. There is an element of fear and rejection. There is ALSO and element of blind FAITH.

It's the ONLY way to grow and be emotionally and spiritually healthy.

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Saturday, December 22, 2012

Reduce Your Accent (Part 1)

A thick accent can hold you back, personally and at work. Here are some tips to changing your accent:

1) Slow down! That's right. Go slow. You are learning a different way to speak and communicate. If you speak too quickly, native speakers will have a hard time understanding you.

2) Use your dictionary! Become familiar with the phonetic symbols in the dictionary. Look up words that are hard for you to say.

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Sunday, December 16, 2012

You and Your Spirit (Part 2)

Spirituality is ALWAYS with you. Many forget about it. They forget to nurture it. Spirituality is like stepping out onto center stage. It's about experiencing the NOW.

Spirituality is also about FAITH, and expecting the best. It's NOT about fear, or expecting the worst. Your spirituality points out what you can BE!

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Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Linkedin and You!

Have you heard of LINKEDIN? It's a great way to network! It continues to gain momentum as a resource. A quality profile is becoming an essential element of a career marketing package.

Your LINKEDIN profile serves as a summary of your work history. Your resume and LINKEDIN profile need to be organized and well written. A LINKEDIN profile needs to offer enough information, to drive action from recruiters.

When resumes are submitted to corporations or job boards, they go through a filtering process. This filtering process looks for "key words" to determine which resumes deserve a personal review, AND a face-to-face interview by a hiring manager.

Once your resume is submitted, it goes into a "black box" and you're left wondering, "Will they call me? " LINKEDIN  profiles are NOT like that. A simple search, will show you how your profile comes to the forefront. Try this:

  1. Go to PEOPLE tab and hit advanced search
  2. Enter keywords that pertain to your targeted position
  3. Enter a zip code and a distance quotient
  4. Select an industry or multiple industries
  5. Now, hit SEARCH
Look at the top names and open their profiles. The highlighted words will show you the criteria LINKEDIN used to filter the search. LINKEDIN scans four categories: Professional Headline, Titles, Specialties and Industries.

So, what do you do now? You OPTIMIZE these categories with the key words that you believe a recruiter would most likely use, when looking to fill an employment position that YOU are targeting. Invest some time in mastering the LINKEDIN site.

Remember, a LINKEDIN profile is just another way to get your name "out there." You ALSO have to network, network and network some more. LQQKING for a job, is a JOB in itself. Don't be afraid to pull out ALL the stops, to get your foot in the door, AND to land your dream job.

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Thursday, December 6, 2012

Courtesy and Respect!

Tactful persuasion accomplishes a great deal more than commands, when dealing with people. Remember to exhibit courtesy and respect in your relationships.

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Saturday, December 1, 2012

You and Your Spirit (Part 1)

Some people get hung up on "spirit." They think it's about RELIGION. For some, YES; for others, well, it's about your passion and remembering who you are. This post marks the beginning of a series.

Spirituality is different for each person. Think of the Binney and Smith crayons. Each color is different and so is spirituality! Spirituality is about perspective. It's about being positive. Here are some other thoughts:

Spirituality is about a way of life.
It's about awareness.
It's about noticing things around you.
It frees you up to the UNIVERSE around you.
It's about LQQKING deep inside yourself.
It's about seeing beauty.
Most importantly, it's about maintaining a vision of being the best that you can be!

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Saturday, November 24, 2012

7 Traits of Integrity

People with integrity:

  1. Live by fairness
  2. Consider their word their bond
  3. Are authentic
  4. Are straightforward
  5. Are respectful, helpful and gracious
  6. Do more than is required
  7. Are not afraid to ask for help
Want to be authentic? Incorporate the above traits into your life. Watch what happens!

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Monday, November 19, 2012

Public Speaking 101 (Part 3)

The first step in creating a great speech involves a topic (or finding something to talk about). In order to create something fun, let your PASSION(S) be your guide. What are your areas of expertise? What are your hobbies? Whatever the topic, make sure to bring excitement to it! And remember that selecting a topic requires knowledge of who is in the audience, and what their interests are.

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Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Communication At Work (End)


As  with anything, you will need to do some digging to find the speech consultant that works best with you. Develop a short list of questions before you talk on the phone. You will save yourself a lot of time, and headaches, if you prepare ahead of time. Ask friends, colleagues or peers for help. They may have good ideas or resources. If you still come up empty handed, use a certified/licensed Speech Pathologist. Once again, tailor your screening questions, since many operate from a clinical model, and may not be able to adjust their skills, to your personal needs.

In a nutshell, communication equals polished verbal (and nonverbal) skills. Effective communication, combined with a professional wardrobe, creates credibility, and in turn increases the likelihood of YOU being more effective with your clients.


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Thursday, November 8, 2012

Five Traits You Need At Work!


Are you making your mark and influencing people?  Here are 5 traits ALL leaders need!

1) Be enthusiastic. Regardless of whether your job is big or small, give it your best.
2) Sharpen your skills. Never stop developing, growing, learning and improving.
3) Be reliable. Do what you'll say you WILL do.
4) Maintain a positive attitude. Even under pressure or change, don't allow yourself to be negative.
5) Do more than expected. Don't just do what is required, do MORE!

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Saturday, November 3, 2012

Public Speaking 101 (Part 2)

Experts will tell you that the best way to overcome nervousness is to just get up and give your speech. After all, you can't learn to swim if you don't get wet. An audience of 2 is enough to test the waters and give you the confidence to stand up and deliver.

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Sunday, October 28, 2012

Communication At Work (Part 3)




How does all of this relate to you and your clients? Well, if you aren't communicating well, you may be losing them. People may not be listening to what you say because of how you say it. And that means miscommunication, decreased productivity and lowered self-confidence. The quality of how you communicate is particularly essential in today's business environment. The tremendous and ever-increasing use of the telephone as a business tool, often dictates that the first impression you make on a potential client or customer, is based solely on the level of confidence; not on a handshake or a wardrobe selection. And to truly improve this, you must move beyond helpful suggestions from friends and co-workers, or practicing your presentation in front of the bathroom mirror.

What to do? Utilize the services  of a speech consultant. Many different types of organizations ranging from small legal partnerships to major television and radio networks, retain their services. Those individuals benefitting from speech consulting span varying levels of responsibility and include salespeople, managers, receptionists, and media liaisons, among others.

When do you make use of a speech consultant? Answer the following to determine whether you could benefit from working with one.

  1. Do I speak a foreign language or use a dialect that makes communication with others difficult?
  2. Am I fearful of talking on the phone, in public or with authority figures?
  3. Have people mentioned that they can't understand me?
  4. Do I speak too slow or too fast?
  5. Have people told me that I don't know how to listen?
  6. Is my voice too loud or too soft when I speak?
  7. Do I compare myself to other speakers, wishing I were more like them?
  8. Is it difficult for me to pronounce certain sounds?
  9. Am I unable to adjust my vocabulary to different social situations?
  10. Am I personally embarrassed with the way that I speak?


Two or more yes responses may indicate the need for a speech consultant to fully identify and correct the problem.

(To be continued)

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Monday, October 22, 2012

The Small Stuff!

'Don't sweat the small stuff."

The first time I heard that, I thought, "What the hell is that?" Now, at 55, I realize that most of my stress is really small in nature.

Learning how to balance your "stuff" takes time, effort and patience. A friend told me that it takes about 30 days to develop new behaviors or habits. "Sweating the small stuff" falls into that category.

A nice by-product of learning not to sweat the small stuff, is to actually LQQK at your daily stuff, as small. If (in the past) you freaked out with all you had to do, your blood pressure and stress levels are probably through the roof. I'm not suggesting to take a "lah-de-dah" attitude with your daily responsibilities. I'm suggesting a healthy perspective where you assess what is major vs. minor stuff. Rather than reacting to each issue with negativity, you'll learn an easier way to get through the day. In turn, your stress level will lower and you'll begin to have more fun.

Start your PERSPECTIVE today -- with the small stuff!

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Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Public Speaking 101 (Part 1)

A key feature for any type of communication is a sensitivity to listeners. Whether you are talking to a couple of friends at your local coffee shop, or giving a speech to hundreds of people. Your listeners want to feel that you care about their interests and desires. When you are presenting, include functional examples that tie into your speaking points.  Talking about every day situations will pull your audience in, and keep them interested in what you say.

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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Communication At Work (Part 2)



What makes up nonverbal communication? Nonverbal communication incorporates your eye-contact, body language and  listening skills. Eye-contact involves a "direct gaze" with another person. Have you ever questioned why some people are unable to look at you? Maybe, they are uncertain of themselves, suffer from poor self-esteem or are lying. In any case, when one does not make use of consistent eye-contact, one has to question the reasons why.

Did you know that 90% of language is nonverbal? That's right. Think about this the next time you are with a client and think that you are in control (when you really aren't). The client may not be able to articulate what YOU are doing, but is reading a deeper message based on your nonverbal language. It's the small nuances that are received by others, that speak DEEPER and LOUDER!

The last part to nonverbal communication is "listening." This does not mean passively hearing the words. It means having the ability to process and understand the ideas of another person. John Gray, in his book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, explains  that the language of listening is something that needs to be taught, it doesn't happen OVERNIGHT! Being an effective listener is NOT a skill just for women. Men have it too! What is important to remember is that if you are interacting with a client who is unable to relate to you; or what you are telling him, he may be deficient in this area. If you have been told that you don't listen well, then maybe you need some instruction on how to change this. (To be continued)

Food For Thought

What type of impression does YOUR body language convey? Is it strong or weak? Do you maintain eye-contact with other people, or does it drift? Are you an active or a passive listener?

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Thursday, October 4, 2012

What Does Your Voice SAY?

Your voice is a statement of you and your character. When it's STRONG, it conveys confidence and personal power.

Your voice has NOTHING to do with selling a product. It's about how your voice registers your authenticity and integrity. Voice is part of an invisible medium of communication. When it's weak, it shows a lack of  confidence. When it's STRONG, it shows  your CONFIDENCE and personal power.

How can you find it? Tape your voice and listen to it. (You may want to do this a couple of times. Each time you hear your voice, you'll hear another level to it!)

And be sure to take notes! You're a work in progress.

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Saturday, September 29, 2012

A Good Idea!

Begin your journey with a positive step! Go to your library and ask a librarian for suggestions for GREAT self-help books. Pick out a couple and read them.

It's JUST A GOOD IDEA!

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Monday, September 24, 2012

Start With Listening!

Listening is an important part of communication. Here are 4 ways to improve this skill:

  1. Maintain consistent eye-contact with your speaker.
  2. Make use of mirroring. That means repeating (in your own words) what the speaker said. 
  3. Be empathetic. Nothing validates a person more, than standing in their shoes, for THEIR perspective.
  4. Don't judge. Remain open and receptive to what is said. Nothing shuts down communication (more) than a judgmental attitude.
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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Communication At Work (Part 1)

You can spend thousands of dollars investing in a wardrobe to maintain a professional image, but nothing creates a more lasting impression than the ability to communicate effectively.

People communicate on two levels -- verbal and nonverbal. Together, this creates the way people respond to you. What makes up verbal and nonverbal communication? Verbal communication encompasses articulation, language, voice and rate. Articulation is all about the sounds we use, when we speak. Language is all about the words and sentences we use in conversation (i.e. grammar might be another way to describe it). Rate is all about the speed we use, when we talk. You can speak fast or slow. If an excessive or slow rate is used, it calls attention to itself and may "turn off" the listener. You need to be able to gauge an appropriate rate, when you are talking on the phone, with your friends, or in public. Your voice is the pitch (high/low), or volume (loud/soft), when you speak.  << To be continued. >>

Food for Thought:

Out of the verbal parts of communication (articulation, language, rate and voice), which one(s) need your attention? Do you speak clearly? Do you use appropriate language (or use a lot of slang)? How's your speaking rate? Have people mentioned that may be you speak too fast? How's your voice? Is it powerful? Does it make a statement?

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Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Think You're a Bully?

Bullying has been around FOREVER, but NOT as prominent as NOW. It takes place in schools, at work and on the internet. Here are 12 statements to identify 1) Whether you are a bully, or 2) You know of someone that is a bully. If you answer "yes" to 1 or 2 of  these statements, you may be on your way to becoming a bully. If you answer "yes" to 3 or more of these statements, you probably are a bully!

  1.  I pick on people who are smaller than me.
  2.  I like to tease others.
  3.  I like to see others get upset.
  4.  I think it's funny when other people make mistakes.
  5.  I like to take and destroy other people's property.
  6.  I want other kids in school to think I'm tough.
  7.  I get angry and stay angry.
  8.  I blame other people for things that go wrong in my life.
  9.  I like to get revenge on other people who have hurt me.
  10.  I always have to win at a game or a sport.
  11.  I worry what others think when I lose at something.
  12.  I get angry and jealous when my friends succeed.
Well, how did you do? Are you a bully? Are you getting there?

If you are a parent (or teacher), and need help, please call 708-531-8002 and ask about our life-coaching strategies for bullies (or potential bullies). You can visit our website: bob-time.com for more information.

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Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Just A Good Idea!

Employees need to know how they come across. Incorporate communication  into your company's mission statement. Show that your company supports and accepts people who are communicatively challenged. When you make a statement, it keeps you accountable.

It's Just A Good Idea!

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Thursday, August 30, 2012

The Disease To Please!

You waste a lot of time and energy trying to figure out what other people want you to be, rather than just being yourself. This is dangerous because when you're worried about what other people think, you cave into criticism. You don't do what's right for you, but what everybody wants you  to do.

Fact 1: You can't please everybody, so STOP trying!

Fact 2: It's not necessary to please everyone, so STOP trying! You don't have to please everybody  in order to be happy in your life.

Fact 3: Rejection will not ruin your life unless you let it. Quit trying to please everybody. Remember that nobody can make you feel inferior unless you  give them your permission.

Think About It
Who are you concerned with pleasing?

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Friday, August 24, 2012

Just Admit It!

When you're faced with a conflict, instead of accusing or attacking the other person, begin with humility. This is true even if the conflict is their fault. Everyone has blind spots. No one is perfect. There are things that we do that contribute to the "fire." And yes, we have trouble seeing them.

Before you start your "attack," do a self-evaluation. Ask yourself how much of the conflict is your fault. If you're wrong, just admit it!

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Saturday, August 18, 2012

"Proper" Correction

Correcting someone in a respectful way is powerful! When it's done the right way, it builds people up. When it's done the wrong way, it chips away at a person's spirit and self-esteem.

If all you're doing is pointing out a person's faults, then stop! You need to ask yourself, "What's my motive here? Am I correcting them for my benefit or theirs?"

The key to proper correction >> Validate the person; correct the behavior!

Self-check:

1) What bad habits have you formed when you have to mentor, or correct people?

2) In what ways can you validate before you correct?

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Saturday, August 11, 2012

Truth and Love

I'm wondering, truth and love are frequently discussed in our world, but seldom practiced.

From politicians to salesmen, people conveniently ignore or conceal facts and use words to enhance positions or sell products. Perjury is common, and integrity and credibility are an endangered species. Words, twisted in meaning and torn from context, have become mere tools for ego building. It is not surprising that we have to "swear" to tell the truth.

And what about love? our world is filled with its words -- popular songs, Hallmark greeting cards, and romantic novels shower us with notions and dreams about ideal relationships and feelings. Real love, however, is scarce - selfless giving, caring, sharing. We yearn to love and be loved but see few living examples of real love.

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Monday, August 6, 2012

Help!

It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help or advice. In fact, it's foolish not to ask. Good advice from a trusted advisor can help you expand your  alternatives and evaluate your choices.

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Monday, July 30, 2012

Tell Them "It Hurts!"

Any healing starts with a "reveal." If you want to get over your emotional hurt(s), you have to share it with someone (preferably the one who hurt you).

What "hurt" are you ignoring? Is it in your marriage? Is it with your kids?

You need to face up to it! That's the first step.

Maybe you're trying to bury a past "hurt," but it keeps coming back. The triggers keep it alive and well in the present. Your "past" keeps coming back because you haven't dealt with it.

There is no closure WITHOUT disclosure!

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Tuesday, July 24, 2012

It's All About A Mentor!

I can't say enough about a mentor. I believe in EVERY cell in my body that when you have a really great mentor, your life changes. Here are some characteristics:

They are GREAT  communicators! They listen and have great eye contact and they are available when you need them.

They share their experiences (both good and bad). They're pragmatic and real!

They provide constructive criticism. A good mentor challenges you. They get you to "think out of the box."

Lastly, they help you to be a critical thinker. What does that mean? Well, a good mentor prompts YOU with questions. Those questions get YOU to think about you (and your life) differently!

Get a mentor (or  BE one). Watch your life change!

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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

A Good Idea!

Build up your self-image by making a list of your positive qualities. Ask your friends to list things they like about you.

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Wednesday, July 11, 2012

10 Ways To Raise Your Self-Esteem!

We are ALL works in progress. Some days are better than others. Here are 10 ways to raise your WORTH!


  1. Stop thinking negatively. Don't focus  on weaknesses. KNOW your strengths. 
  2. Aim for ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
  3. Remember that a mistake is a learning experience. Everyone makes mistakes. People's talents continue to develop.
  4. When you jump into something new, you get "in touch" with your talents.
  5. Set goals for yourself. Ask yourself what you want to accomplish and then make a plan on how to get it done.
  6. Clear out your JUNK! That means get rid of all the hurtful and negative things that other people told you. It's one thing to be given constructive criticism; it's another, to be mean about it.
  7. List 3 things that you'd love to have the courage to do.
  8. Be passionate about something.
  9. Remember that your self-worth is defined by you. That whole thing of "you complete me" from Jerry Maguire is a BUNCH OF CRAP! Don't buy into it.
  10. Choose to be happy.


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Thursday, July 5, 2012

Improve Your Language!

Here's a short clip about improving your language skills. It's all about changing your reading material.


Choice and YOUR Calendar of Life!

Did you know that the choices you make control your "calendar of life?" That's right, every time you over schedule yourself or can't say no cause you feel guilty (is a choice), AND that choice controls your calendar. Get this NOW, your choices are MORE than your circumstances. No one is forcing your choices!

Are you tired of ALL the madness? It's time to simplify your life! Here's 3 ways to get you started:

1) Figure out your life purpose. What do you do well -- teach, guide, lead? Once you figure out your life purpose, let your purpose guide you to your goals(s).

2) Organize your activities around your purpose. if your purpose is to "teach," LQQK for activities where you can do that.

3) Find your harmony or balance. Once you've figured out your purpose, and you've organized your activities to meet it, it's time to bring your activities into an agreement  with your goals.

You only have today to live the life that you want and deserve. Let go of what doesn't work and focus on what makes YOU happy!

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Sunday, July 1, 2012

Stress!

If you want to reduce your stress level, then change the way that you think! When you change the way that you think, then your feelings change. When you feel differently, you act differently. If you want to change your life, change the way that you think.

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Thursday, June 28, 2012

Monday, June 4, 2012

FREE Book for Facebook Followers!

This clip is going on Youtube. The offer is available to you. It's all about a FREE book!


Friday, June 1, 2012

Your Past and Present

Usually, your future is a replication of your past. (That is, if you're unaware or unable to LQQK at your patterns.) Real change happens when you dissolve your past and focus on the "now." If your mind carries a heavy burden of the past, you'll carry more of the same into your future. The quality of where you are now, shapes your future.

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Thursday, May 24, 2012

Change Your Communication!

Want an inexpensive way to change your communication skills? Try the following -- make two columns, one labeled "communication strengths," the other labeled "communication weaknesses." Now look at your column of weaknesses and ask yourself which one can you work on IMMEDIATELY. Do it until it becomes a strength.

Make a point of chipping away at all of your weaknesses UNTIL they become strengths.


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Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Foreign Speakers . .

"I don't understand what they are saying. They talk funny."

Dialects are a product of a geographical region, socioeconomic status, race or ethnicity, cultural background and first or second language learning. The next time you are frustrated; picture yourself in their shoes to understand where they are coming from.

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Sunday, April 15, 2012

Email Correspondence


EMAIL CORRESPONDENCE IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR EXTENSIVE BUSINESS/PERSONAL SITUATIONS! 

"We prefer email correspondence." 
"Email correspondence is so much easier for us." 
"We'll respond faster via e-mail, then phone." 
"That's the way we do business!" 

EXTENSIVE e-mail correspondence should raise a “red flag.” If a business relies heavily on e-mail correspondence, BEWARE of them. You can accomplish so much more via a phone call -- PLAIN and SIMPLE! Extensive email correspondence IS NOT FUN AND MUCH IS LOST THROUGH IT.

And if you still haven't gotten the importance of this, think about how you'd feel if you needed to talk to an M.D. or an insurance company immediately, and the only way you could communicate was via an e-mail because "that's how we do it here."

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Sunday, April 1, 2012

"Like Breathing"

Your communication skills can be "like breathing" once you are aware and have a map; but it takes work and a commitment. People who strive to be their best, don't come out of a box. It's a process and it takes time. Are you stuck and need a map? Seek a "communication" mentor. Observe how they do it!

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Thursday, March 1, 2012

Foreign Speakers and Their Communication!

Speakers with a different native language often retain parts of that language. They may "code-switch" from one language to another. Code-switching is another way of saying that the native speaker uses grammar patterns common to the native language but used in the 2nd language (English). In the process, one language may interfere with another. The speaker's age, education and social situation influence the efficacy of code-switching.

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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Work and THE WORLD!

When you're working  your hardest, the world opens up to you. When you're not working, your mind becomes  cluttered and the world becomes closed.

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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Foreign Speaking Patients and Healthcare

If you know someone who is a foreign speaker or someone who is in the healthcare industry, please share this clip! It's important to get the message out that ALL hospitals need to address a (Joint Commission) directive of a better way to provide healthcare for someone who is a foreign speaker!

Friday, January 6, 2012

A Communication Mentor

A mentor provides you with a road-map. They inspire and challenge you to be your best. In addition, they also EXUDE great communication skills.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Sunday, January 1, 2012

What (Really) is OPTIMISM?

Optimism is the natural high caused by people who are prepared to win by who they model themselves after, who they study, and the persistence that they put out in preparation.

Let this be your foundation for GREAT communication and a GREAT New Year!

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