Friday, January 29, 2010

Make Communication Meaningful!

When you communicate with others, make each encounter purposeful and meaningful. If it's not beneficial (or the best way to spend your time), do something about it. Think of your mind as a gas tank. It needs the best fuel to keep it going.

Long winded people are not respectful of your time. They don't do it intentionally. They may just be lonely or unaware that the conversation ended a "while back."

There are some people who will steal your time but if they do, you've given them permission by not cutting them off at the start.

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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Boss Support!

Being a leader requires a focus.

Be a team player. There is no "I" in team. People need to know you're in their corner; watching their back. Support and motivation run hand in hand. Staff need to know they have "boss support." When they do, they feel more motivated to do their jobs well. They also trust that you'll help them when they need it.

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Monday, January 25, 2010

Lift Them Up!

Become a people-builder-upper! It's a "gift" that we all need (and can benefit from)! 

Here are three ways to do it: 1) challenge, 2) encourage, and 3) be honest. Challenge your family, friends and colleagues to live beyond themselves and to discover their strengths and abilities. We all have gifts and we all need "buddies" to encourage their development. Lastly, we need to take a risk and be honest with others.

If you see someone who would benefit from your honest insight, take a step forward and talk to them.

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Friday, January 22, 2010

It's About Development!

When you don't exercise your muscles, they get weak. In the same way, if you don't utilize the gifts or skills God has given you, you will lose them.

Whatever gifts (skills) you have been given can be enlarged, but it takes practice! For instance, no one gets the gift of teaching in its entirety. You have to practice to be a better teacher. In time, you can grow to be a master teacher.

Stretch yourself and learn all you can!

Develop yourself!

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Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Assess Yourself!

What do you want to be when you grow up? Many times, we're asked this as children. "I want to be a doctor." "I want to be a nurse." "I want to be President." There are some adults who still ask "What do I want to be when I grow up?"

If you're still floundering with what you want to "be" maybe it's time to assess and re-evaluate.

Begin by looking at your gifts or abilities. Look at what you do "well." Make a list. Ask your friends and colleagues for their insight. Tell them you need the "truth" and not lip service. Your spiritual gifts (or things that come naturally to you) are usually confirmed by others.

If you think you're gifted as an actor or a singer but on one else agrees, guess what? Are you a leader? See who YOU inspire!

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Monday, January 18, 2010

With Passion!

How do you know when you enjoy your work?

When you do what you love, you do it because you ENJOY it! You don't need a reward, a medal or an award for your efforts.

How do you know when you don't enjoy something?

When you are easily discouraged.

When you do what you're wired  to do, you do it with love and passion. If you don't care about a task, it is unlikely that you will excel at it. The highest achievers are those who do things because of their passion.

Don't waste your life in a job (or hobby) that doesn't express your heart! Figure out what you love to do and then do it . . WITH A PASSION!!

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Friday, January 15, 2010

Just Watch!

Many service providers fail to show an understanding or sensitivity to a customer's culture. In addition, service providers respond poorly to a customer that speaks English as a second language. In this case, communication problems result.

The next time you're at the grocery store (or at the mall); watch as store employees interact with customers from different cultures. In some cases, you'll see excellent service, but the majority of service will be poor because the employee lacks the sensitivity to the customer's culture. 

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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Lead By Doing!

Listening is an "art." Paint a better picture by giving the "other half" a chance to speak. Don't dominate "your half" of the give and take, by hogging up the conversation. Ask open ended questions to get more from your listener. "Good listening" means you put aside what you are doing, to show the speaker that you will listen. You reserve your opinions, thoughts and conclusions until you've heard what they are trying to say. You have an attitude of openness and respect for their opinions. You may not agree but you are willing to hear them. This demonstrates your respect for them.

Make your mark by leading your business with good communication skills!

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Monday, January 11, 2010

It Has Staying Power!

We all have  had moments where bad situations weren't handled well. In the process, we kill ourselves with the inner voice that says "something is wrong with me." We forget our goodness and believe the badness because in many situations, the "critical tape" was given to us a long time ago. It might have been given in anger or frustration. It might have been given by someone in authority -- parent, teacher, boss. It might have been given when we were younger. What needs to happen is that we recognize its "staying power" and choose to change it. After all, being negative to yourself isn't something that helps you, does it?

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Friday, January 8, 2010

Inner Dialogue

Negative self-talk is your inner dialogue. Some researchers have estimated that there are 25,000 hours of these tapes in a human's head. And we all have them. Usually, these voices tell us that we are unlovable, worthless, or bad. The negative self-talk may be experienced as a thought. The majority of the time, it is partially (or totally) unconscious. Most of us are unaware of the habitual activity of the voice in our heads. We become aware of it in certain stressful situations when shame is activated. And this internalized shame causes you to focus on a particular group of automatic thoughts, to the exclusion of anything that is positive. This preoccupation creates a kind of tunnel vision in which you think only one kind of thought, and notice only one aspect of your environment.

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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

A Generational Tape

Victims are people who run their lives according to rules of others. (Think of those messages that you got as you grew up; and see the generational connection in how it got through your parents, grandparents and  great-grandparents.) They do things they really would not do. They are done with resentment because they've been manipulated through guilt and shame. To be victimized means to be governed by forces outside of yourself. But, you can rarely be victimized unless you allow it to happen. Many times, these "tapes" are generational. You just don't see how deep they go.

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Monday, January 4, 2010

Are You A Victim?

Victims almost always operate from a reference of weakness. They let themselves be pushed around because they feel they're not smart enough to take charge of their lives. So, what they do is hand over their personal power to someone who they feel is "smarter" or "stronger" rather than risk being self-assertive.

You're a victim when life isn't working for you. If you behave in self-defeating ways, are miserable, hurt, anxious, afraid to be yourself and are immobilized. You may be carrying left over habits from childhood which made sense then (but not now). You may be bull-dozed by someone and got accustomed to taking it . . . out of habit.

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Friday, January 1, 2010

The "Victim" Trap

Getting out of the victim trap involves developing a new habit. Healthy habits are learned in the same way as unhealthy ones. It takes practice. Three steps will get you there. There is a method to handling these situations so they lose their power (and you regain yours)!

  1. Recognize a negative thought and its crippling effect.
  2. Treat the thought as if it were told to you by a person who wanted to make your life miserable.
  3. Fight the negative with the positive. Think of situations where present evidence proved something different. Challenge the negative!
This sounds easy on paper (and the first time may be a disaster), but it's important to work on it -- work toward getting better -- to neutralize or "neuter" the negative thoughts.

Once you get this method under your belt, something magical will happen -- you'll be a better listener. Here's how: when you're paying attention to your "critical voice," you can't hear anything else. That's because it drowns out the other person and puts you on "automatic." You automatically react to situations without realizing that maybe -- just maybe, you said something intelligent.

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