Wednesday, February 13, 2019

10 Steps To Independence (Part 1)

Here are 10 ways to get you started! The time is now, be your best!

You only have today to live. Do you intend to just sit and stew, or to make some powerful changes in your life? When you intend, you have to commit. It won’t happen unless you put out the energy. Here’s an opportunity to create your Independence (day)!

1) Break Away from the Crowd -- Don’t let other people determine your values or patterns. Many times, the expectations people put on us are unrealistic. Want to have confidence? Then stop trying to be a “super person.” Understand your limits and that you can’t keep all people
happy. Statistics show that 10% of people will never like you. Stop trying to be perfect and celebrate who you are! When someone is independent, they don’t allow other people to alter their day or their mood. Be your own person.

2) Roll With The Criticism -- There will ALWAYS be someone who will criticize you and give you a piece of their mind. Roll with it, and try not to let it bother you. Criticism is hard to take and can hurt a person’s self-image. Don’t allow others to judge you. When it happens, tell yourself something positive about you. Don’t stand by and just take it. Have your own attitude and don’t be defeated by criticism.

3) Be Crazy -- Think of something you’ve wanted to do but thought “maybe that’s not a good thing.” Well, you live only once -- be crazy and do it. It will keep your life interesting. Doing something crazy means different things to different people. For some, it may be bungee jumping or taking a ride in a hot air balloon. Other people may think spending $1000.00 dollars on the Home Shopping Network is nuts. Don’t get into a rut. Keep things “zippity-do-dah” and try something out of the ordinary. Not stupid stuff, but stuff within reason. “Sometimes, you have to say no to others (and yes to you), so that you don’t end up bitter and resentful.”

4) Stand With An Opinion -- We all have opinions. You are entitled to yours. This does not mean you should shout it out loud. Inner wisdom keeps you aware of when to share those opinions, and when to keep them quiet. Don’t live in the shadow of other people. It’s not healthy. Be yourself and stand firm!

5) Don’t Pretend -- It takes “people pleasers” time to understand that we can’t be what others want us to be! In fact, it’s exhausting. Many people pretend. Many put on a “happy face” and project to the world that EVERYTHING is great! In reality, they’re miserable. They follow all the
“should” statements -- “You should do this! You should do that!” Nope, let go of that. To establish your independence (day), be yourself!

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Wednesday, February 6, 2019

30 Good Days

The last year has been a series of transitions. While I understand their importance, I dislike them. They’ve left me frustrated and exhausted. I’m a CAPRICORN. We are goal oriented. I’m at my best when I can “check off” goals I’ve achieved. It shows I’ve accomplished something. Lately, I’ve fallen short of those check lists. I’ve been grieving the loss of my home and job. While I haven’t sat down to write down some kick-ass achievable goals, I was led to looking at why I couldn’t.
The loss of my home and job left me anxious. Although my therapist gave me strategies to get over these losses, I kept returning to them. I kept replaying the day of my eviction and job loss. Both of those situations violated my personal space. They also destroyed my confidence. Internally, I could feel my confidence returning. It was fragile. I needed to strengthen it. I didn’t know how, until Christmas.
I go to church on a daily basis. I attend Mass 6 days a week and go to a Christian church on Sundays. I’ve gotten to love church. I see the importance of it. It fills me up. I feel empty when I’m unable to attend. The pastors of both churches have inspired me to take risks, and know that the end result is in God’s hands.
Xmas was different this year. I knew I had to protect myself by not getting caught up in the nostalgia. I also knew that church would be my leverage and “safety net.”
I attended Mass on Christmas Eve and Day. Both days were instrumental in setting a goal for myself. It involved a sermon about Jesus’ mother Mary.
Our pastor is good with sermons. He can take a complex topic and break it down to make it functional. He didn’t disappoint. He explained that when Mary was told she’d be the mother to the Savior, that she had to continue to say “yes” to the idea that she’d be responsible for the most important part of history that the world, and churches, have ever seen. (Mary was only 14 years old when the angel came to her and told her that she’d be the mother of Jesus.) When the angel told her she’d be with child without the conventional way, she trusted God and said “yes.” Once Jesus was born, and she and Joseph saw the importance of Jesus and his life mission, she continued to say “yes.” Each “yes” brought her closer to fulfilling God’s plan. If she hadn’t said “yes” to all the small things God had in store, we’d never have things like the Holy Spirit and the resurrection.
When you think of how God’s plan involved someone so ordinary, you gotta think that trusting His plan and saying “yes,” really was the best way to approach Mary and Jesus’ destinies.
As our pastor broke this down, it dawned on me that each time I said “yes” to small things, that not only could I be like Mary, but I could overcome the devastation I encountered with the loss of my home and job.
The next day I started my plan. I’d say “yes” to God’s plan for 30 days. I knew that if I chunked things down in small, manageable steps, I’d be successful. I began each day in gratitude. I would say aloud 10 things I was grateful for. In addition, I would say aloud, “I’m saying YES to you God.” I started with things like locking the car at night. (In the past, my doors froze, making entry challenging. With a new “1 day at a time plan” I rationalized that the car would not be stolen (or the doors would freeze.) I also incorporated things like going to lunch with my friends. In the past, I rationalized that I didn’t have the money. I DID have the money but I was so caught up with “lack and loss” that I continued to think in terms of the glass half empty vs. half full.
Each day, I journaled my progress. If I didn’t feel any anxiety, I had a “good day.” In addition, I put a “GD” on each day I succeeded. The “GD” represented “Good Day.” When I got to the 30th day, I recognized that I could accomplish MORE than I thought. In a nutshell, if I took each day as it came, stayed PRESENT in the moment, and didn’t project “future fears” I was successful.
I won’t lie. I REALLY had to work on this. I didn’t want to fuck up. Thirty consecutive days was the goal. There was no turning back. If I didn’t achieve the goal, I HAD to START OVER. My incentive through this journey was that when I was secure with my home and job, I never thought about shit like this. HOWEVER, the emotional and psychological scars from losing things that defined me (i.e. home and job) had me “by the balls” and kept me in a negative cycle. I had to do something that showed me PROGRESS. This activity did it!
My Christian pastor shared a testimony that stayed with me. He’s been in charge of his church for over 15 years. It has been successful and profitable. He shared that even at this stage of his life, he is still scared to do things. BUT, when God guides his steps, he takes a “leap of faith” and does it. He’s learned that he can’t solve spiritual problems the same way and expect the same results. Each time, he’s faced with a new problem, he HAS to solve it differently.
I guess I have to do things this way from now on . . . DIFFERENTLY, and with TRUST IN GOD.

Focus: Goals, Spirit, One Day At A Time, God
Questions for You: 1) What current situations leave you anxious? 2) How are you handling them? 3) Is this way working for you? 4) What do you have to do to get a better result?

Friday, February 1, 2019

Five Steps To Taking Risks

1.     Be responsible. As an adult, you have to accept that risk is a part of life. Without risk, you stagnate.
2.     Clarify your goals. Measurable goals enhance risk. If your goals aren't measurable, you can't determine progress. Make them clear and simple.
3.     Review what's positive. Any crossroads (or fork in the road), brings a risk. With risk, comes decision. Make 2 columns, one positive, one negative. The more ideas in the positive column will indicate, "Full speed ahead!"
4.     Ask God for help. It's a mistake to think that you can do this alone. You need to ask God for supernatural favor and insight. You can't do anything without His help. Be sure to thank Him everyday for His resources.
5.     Act. When you're done with 1-4 (above), you HAVE to ACT. Don't procrastinate. Move forward with your goals. DILIGENCE is key!

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Friday, January 25, 2019

Six Steps To Overcoming Shyness

1.     Bring support. Big groups can be overwhelming. If you have to go to a big group thing, bring a friend (or a group of them), with you the first time. Their presence will dissipate your nervousness.
2.     Full speed AHEAD. Before you leave, think about what you'll want to say. Asking questions is a good ice-breaker. Move forward and AHEAD.
3.     Move your body.  Physical movement dispels nervous energy. 
4.     Don't LQQK at yourself. Focus on others. Shy people focus on themselves and their fears and anxieties. If you remember to spend time putting others at ease, you'll put yourself at ease. 
5.     Find a common interest. Common interests spark conversations. Circumstances can open you up. Think positively! Take advantage of where you are. Watch what happens.
6.     Give em a smile. Follow the actions of a puppy! What? Puppies wag their tails and people fall over them. Give others a smile and a genuine hello. Watch what happens!

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Friday, January 18, 2019

Say No To Multi-Tasking

The multi-tasking myth is a seductive one -- cooking, helping kids with homework, checking email. It's easy to bounce from one task to another. You think you're getting things done. In actuality, you're not.

Research shows that multi-tasking reduces productivity up to 40 percent.

It takes discipline to break the multi-tasking habit. Give it a try for a few hours (or days) and see how you feel. Rather than trying to juggle a number of tasks, do one thing at a time. Be patient with yourself and think of it like rebuilding your attention muscle. Your BRAIN will thank you!

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Thursday, January 10, 2019

Seven Ways to Superb Health

1.     Weight Control: Set a comfortable/healthy goal for your weight. Keep in mind your height and your age. As you get older, your metabolism slows down. Eat less and exercise more. Pick exercise that suits your lifestyle. be consistent with it. In some cases, consult your doctor. 
2.     Maintain a proper diet: Eat a variety of foods to receive a full spectrum of nutrients. Eat a lean source of protein that is low in fat >> fish, chicken, high quality beef and pork. Drink lots of water. You need about 1 gallon of water (daily) to flushtoxins from your body.
3.     Exercise: Ideally, this needs to be daily. Research shows that physical exercise increases your physical energy. Investing in regular exercise pays off for a longer (more productive) life.
4.     Rest and relaxation: You need 7-8 hours of sleep to function at your best. In times of stress, you need more. Don't short change yourself. Take one day off from work each week. Discipline yourself to do nothing on your day off. Take mini-vacations as a change in your atmosphere or environment.
5.     Take vitamin and nutritional supplements: These supplements are available from a variety of sources. Do your research. Talk to your doctor about what's best.
6.     Eliminate smoking and alcohol: Both smoking and alcohol contribute to a variety of illnesses and physical problems.
Make  sure to do anything in moderation.

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Thursday, January 3, 2019

A Personal Growth Schedule

In order to achieve all that's possible in your life, you HAVE to be disciplined. Practice these skills until they become automatic. 

1) Set daily goals >> EVERY morning take a couple of minutes to work out your 5 top goals. By writing them down, you'll program them deep into your subconscious mind. Goal writing (daily) will activate your mental powers.

2) Plan and organize >> Before you go to bed, plan out the activities of the coming day (i.e. similar to laying out your clothes/outfit for the night before). Always work from a list. This is one of the most important disciplines of a HIGH performer.

3) Prioritize >> The essence of all time/life management is in your ability to set proper priorities.

4) Concentrate >> Working single-mindedly on the important tasks will contribute to your success.

5) Exercise >> Your health and nutrition is important. Disciplining yourself to eat and exercise regularly will promote the highest levels of health and fitness throughout your life.

6) Learning and Growth >> Your mind IS a muscle. Use it or LOSE it. Continuous learning is a requirement for your personal/professional success.

7) Time for People >> Relationships are EVERYTHING. In fact, GOD made ALL of us to relate and be in relationships with people. Build time for your relationships every day.

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