Wednesday, December 13, 2017

The Importance Of Giving

The Importance Of Giving
About a year ago, I was gob-smacked at the spiritual lesson one of my friends taught me about giving to others.
A bit of history is needed before I proceed. I was evicted and lost my job (and everything I owned). I took pride in the things I had. My home and job defined me. It was the only way I knew how to live. That is, until it was all taken away. It was a precarious situation that humbled me. I barely had gas money, was severely depressed and suicidal. I was close to homelessness.
Fast forward to my story and my point. I had just finished my zumba class. A friend invited me  to Chik-Fil-A for lunch. I gladly accepted because I needed to be with people, and laugh.
As we entered the restaurant, a young man approached us. My guard went up. Though it was early in the day, I was concerned that he would hurt both of us. That wasn’t the case. He was hungry and wanted something to eat. In a quiet tone, my friend took charge. She recognized that he was hungry. She took him to the counter and bought him lunch. When our orders were ready, she gave him his, and we took ours back to the car to eat.

I admit, I judged the man by the way he looked.
She saw him and the situation from another point of view - - one of spirit and giving. I don’t remember if we talked about it in depth. Frankly, I don’t think it was necessary. Her actions spoke LOUDLY about treating others with kindness and respect. While I was grateful at her treating me to lunch (and spending some time with me), I was PROFOUNDLY HUMBLED and GRATEFUL for what she taught me in the moment. The lessons I learned are SEARED in my brain and spirit. They will NEVER go away.
Now, if a down-trodden person approaches me and asks for change for food, I BOLDLY walk them to the counter and tell them to order anything they want. When I was hungry, depressed and (yes) suicidal, someone stepped into my life to show me compassion, kindness and respect. I believe that I can do the same for others. Thank you Boo (Melanie) for showing me GOD in you!
Focus: Kindness, Spirit, God, Friendship
Questions for you: 1) Do you take time for giving? 2) What life lessons has it taught you?

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Your Body Language (2)

Knowledge is power and understanding your body language can be a gift in looking at what works and what doesn’t work for you. You know the saying, “actions speak louder than words?” Well, it applies here, and every time your actions are in sync, you show others a better – visual connection.


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Wednesday, November 29, 2017

VIEW/point


My personal banker told me that I communicate clearly and that it is a “gift” when it is
given. No one ever complimented me in that way.  It got me thinking on how I got so “clear.”  I traced my beginnings and recognized that it came from all the years I worked with children.

Think about how a child communicated. They ask questions when they don’t understand. They tell you the truth and keep it simple. That is the process of negotiating . . . asking questions, telling the truth and keeping it simple.

If you can remember that the next time you negotiate, it will be quick and easy.

And you will get a great “gift” in return!



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Friday, November 24, 2017

Body Language

A non-verbal cue, or body language is a message sent by such things as a speaker’s gestures, facial expressions, eyes and posture. Good listeners interpret a speaker’s non-verbal feedback through 5 channels: ears, eyes, heart, mind and intuition.

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Thursday, November 16, 2017

Interviewing And Selling YOURSELF!

It’s About Standing Out! (Interviewing And Selling YOURSELF!) 

Are you in the midst of a job search? Are you feeling the pressure of finding work NOW? Are you at the end of your rope? Do you think you nailed the interview only to find, the job’s filled? Well, here’s some insight to EMPOWER (and give you the EDGE). Interviews are more of a conversation. In order to succeed, come prepared with information and stories, that show you’re the best person for the job.
When you go to an interview, leave your nerves at the door and remember to be yourself. Think of your past jobs and remember what made you “stand out!” What was it that saved a company millions of dollars? Did you establish a precedent as a leader?
When you’re interviewing; your (future) employer is LQQKING for skills that go beyond your degree. Here are some examples of what your employer wants to know: 1) Are you an asset or a liability? Will you make $$ for us and bring in new clients? 2) Are you a team player? Will your skills add to, or enhance our corporate structure? (Many times, a company is LQQKING for a certain personality to fit in with, or challenge, the “current” corporate climate.)
In order to HAVE the edge, you report how: 1) You made or saved $$ for your past employers, 2) You led your team to accomplishing goals that were unprecedented in the past.
Do you get the idea now?
When you understand that ALL jobs come with a history, you’ll learn, that sharing your stories, makes you marketable, and more attractive to a potential employer. Interviewing is ALL about WIN-WIN. The company wins when they hire you, and you win, when you bring something fresh, into a company. When your intention is all about WIN-WIN, you come closer to landing a job that you really want. Be prepared to stand out and sell yourself!

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Friday, November 10, 2017

Body Language and You!

Body Language: The eyes reveal the soul. When you pay close attention, you can gain a lot
more from a person’s eyes – confidence and competence for starters. When you’re focused, people know that you’re listening and paying attention.

You won’t convey the same affect if you’re looking around the room, looking at your watch or looking as papers on your desk. These kinds of actions show that you’re interested in doing something else.


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Friday, November 3, 2017

Transcendent Conversations

Transcendent Conversations
Do you thank people for being in your  life?  When people have been with you for years, do you thank them for enhancing your life? Do you  even think about  it?
The other day I had  this conversation with Barb, my dental hygienist. We’re both in our sixties and have had to navigate some challenging situations. A common “theme” for both of us was deciding how we needed to live our lives differently. This theme was in my head for a while. I was grateful that she opened the door for us to have it. Granted, I was a captive audience as she was cleaning my teeth, but nonetheless I was appreciative. Barb told me that one of her patients (Mary) was at a crossroads. She was neighbors with a woman for over 30 years. The woman wanted to downsize and sell her home. She wanted a simpler life. Mary understood this  and wanted the  best for her friend. She recognized that her friend needed to move on.  She also knew that she needed to develop a “Plan B” in making new friends and establishing new interests. Having a solid friendship with a neighbor is  RARE. Many NEVER have anything as extraordinary as that. As Mary recognized the need to move on and process this extraordinary relationship, she observed her neighbor growing distant. Their coffee time grew less and less. Mary moved on with her life because she knew she wanted more with people. (Mary’s neighbor moving away was a “wake up” call to pursue more out of life.)  I asked Barb if Mary ever had a “thankful” conversation with  her neighbor. Barb asked me what I meant and I explained that (for  me), having conversations with people who  touched my life were at the core of  who I  was. That at 60, it was important for me to validate the  importance of  people, and what they’ve done for  me. I also told her how  unfinished (certain relationships) were, when those conversations never happened. When I explained what I meant, Barb understood, because she too, was in a place where quality time with people, was at the top  of  her  list.
Our conversation left me encouraged because I believed I was the only one who felt this  way. I had seen the emptiness (and felt it) in leaving people, without making time to say goodbye.
In the last couple of  months, I’ve wanted to have these conversations with people who I deemed were important. They touched my spirit in  PROFOUND ways! I reached out to them to reconnect. Alas, there was no response. I have  to admit, it  hurt my feelings because this “reconnect” seemed so  simple and right. What  I missed then, that I KNOW NOW, is that the  other  person needs to do their  part in order for moments to  be  as solid, as what Mary learned about her 30 year friendship with her neighbor. It was rare and may never happen again!
In fact here is something I’ve written (and given to people), so that they understand their impact in my life.
“Thank You For Being My Friend Day”
I really wish there was a “thank you for being my friend day.” If there were, there would have to be some rules . . .
It would have to happen when the person was alive, telling a person, “thank you, you’ve changed my life,” when they’re in a box wouldn’t do it. You can’t understand or appreciate the words when you’re dead.
It would need to happen daily – “thank you” is not something one grows tired of.
It would need to happen spontaneously. If it were said at the same time, in the same way, it would lose its meaning.
It could take any form – a phone call, a card, a simple gesture, or maybe a 1-1, face to face form (yeah, that would be the best).
In some cases, it would involve tears – when you’ve never told someone “thank you” for the first time (and really and truly mean it), it might spark tears. But you know what? --- tears are ok.
It would have to involve a smile or laughter. When you’re friends with someone, smiles and laughter are good.
It would need a kiss and a hug. We can’t get enough of those!
Last but not least, your heart would have to shine and glow! Being told, “you’re important, you matter, you’re smart, you’ve challenged me to take risks and test myself, or, I’m glad you came my way,” can spark a lot. Just think of what E.T. looked like when he was excited and happy.
Yeah, I wish there was a “thank you for being my friend day.” Maybe it should start today? Look at all the things that would happen.
Today is your day.
Thank you for being my friend. © Bob Roza
Focus: Friendship, closure, spirit,

Questions for you: 1) What transcendent conversations do you need to have? 2) What’s preventing you  from having  them? Why?